I often speak to people who proudly describe themselves as “perfectionists.” However, after we talk for a while, it’s interesting how many of their anxieties appear to stem from that very description. Though the word has a virtuous ring to … Continue reading
For two decades I’ve been questioning the concept of the alleged disease of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Suddenly, mental health professionals are beginning to say the same things I’ve been saying for a long time, and one of those professionals … Continue reading
Lately it has become fashionable to label people who have accomplished great things as being “arrogant.” Why this is happening is best left to another column, but I suspect we wouldn’t be enjoying many of the conveniences and comforts around … Continue reading
Everything we do, we do for a reason. All behavior, no matter how self-destructive it may seem, serves an emotional purpose. It’s not that somebody “shouldn’t” be acting in a certain way; it’s that they ARE acting that way to … Continue reading
A reader emails that she doesn’t get the idea of gift giving for the sake of gift giving, or just to not look bad in front of others. She’s referring to Black Friday, and goes on to say that people … Continue reading
I see so many examples of spouses and partners who endure consistent and systematic meanness from their significant others. This pattern is more prevalent than you might think, and the clinical term for it is emotional abuse. There are a … Continue reading
Barely a day goes by when someone doesn’t ask, “How are you feeling?” Given all this concern (sincerity notwithstanding…), it seems like “feeling good” should be the primary goal of our human experience. But in fact it’s not. Think about … Continue reading
A reader is seeking “closure” from his girlfriend who recently dumped him; closure meaning a neat, painless ending that might come anyway with the passage of time. But time can’t be rushed, and closure can’t be faked or forced. People … Continue reading
I hear horror stories all the time about bad experiences with service providers such as plumbers, electricians and the like. I find it hard to believe that there can be so many tradespeople out there who are rude and/or routinely … Continue reading
A reader emails that the new president of her condo association is just plain obnoxious. He barks orders, talks too much, and has taken to sending nasty letters for even the slightest infraction (or what he sees as an infraction). … Continue reading
In AMC’s award-winning TV series “Mad Men,” the lead character Don Draper — a man with deep internal conflicts and significant character flaws — starts to write down his thoughts and reflections about people and events in his daily life. … Continue reading
People often tell me how concerned they are that they or their children not be “losers.” They’re surprised when I tell them that losing can sometimes be good for your mental health. Of course, in a competitive sense, it’s clearly … Continue reading