People typically look at the concept of independence this way: “If I do something by myself, alone, then I’m independent; if I do something at all in collaboration with someone else, I’m not independent.” This is erroneous. While being independent … Continue reading →

Being committed to growth means that you are willing to question yourself and others; to think philosophically and critically, rather than just react to events; and to go by reason rather than by sheer “instinct.” Being committed to lifelong personal … Continue reading →

People who dwell on regrets are making the error of granting the past too much importance. The reason I say “too much importance” is because nothing about the past can be changed by anyone. It’s self-evidently done, and over, by … Continue reading →

The biggest excuse I hear from people about not holding loved ones responsible for their actions is, “It’s not working.” For example: “My twenty-five year old son moved back in. He stays at home and doesn’t even seek out a … Continue reading →

Do you love someone for what he has…or for who he IS? Either motive is all right. But there is a difference between the two. And terms should be clear. Honesty works best, because then you’re not faced with a … Continue reading →

The self-esteem equation, for a healthy person, is as follows: “I am worthwhile. I am somebody. I have skills and I know what they are. If I diligently work at these skills, I WILL produce something of worth; something that … Continue reading →

Denial is an emotional hearing problem, or emotional deafness. With auditory deafness, the problem is sensory; with denial, the problem is conceptual. Denial is a combination of a refusal to think carefully and an acceptance of a conclusion that isn’t … Continue reading →

Sacrifice of the self, at the core, means sacrifice of your own mind to the mind of another (or others). This automatically sets into a motion a motivation of caring about what others think, because the primary standard becomes HIS … Continue reading →

Q: I feel different from other people. I’m not weird, but I’m in the minority and I don’t fit into any stereotypical “box.” How can I deal with this feeling? A: Actually, some people ARE uncomfortable with the unusual or … Continue reading →

Success, like happiness, is an objective standard, not a relative one. If you make more money than your competitor, this says little about your success. Your success is defined by the relationship among: the use of your mind, your efforts … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd, do you think it’s right or wrong for parents with growing children to divorce? Should they stay together for the sake of the children? A: The premise of the question is that the primary obligation of parents … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd, what’s the difference between a passive-aggressive person who is late because he’s really angry with you, as opposed to someone who’s late simply because of being flighty? A: Your question answers itself. The passive-aggressive person is angry … Continue reading →