When in personal conflict, try to remember: The issue isn’t “who’s right?” The issue is “What’s right?” Objective reality, established through the use of facts and reason, is the goal here. Of course we all want to be right. But … Continue reading
The release of tension is not the same as the affirmation of values. When you release tension, you’re clearing the way but you’re not creating anything. Often, affirming or experiencing positive values makes tension go away. People constantly looking for … Continue reading
“It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he never reasoned into.” — Jonathan Swift How true! People who don’t reach their conclusions via reason are not going to listen to reason. People don’t become … Continue reading
You cannot make another happy, and nobody can make you happy. Happiness is too personal. People can help each other with all kinds of things, if they’re able and if they want to. Someone can give you a ride, or … Continue reading
In developing a business, brainstorming is important, not because all or most of the ideas will work, but 1-2 or 3 (out of 100) of them will work and that’s what matters. I have learned, in self-employment, that many ideas … Continue reading
Using a mental health or psychiatric label represents a convenient excuse. It provides cover for the label recipient who says, “I can’t help it. I have depression.” Or attention deficit disorder. Or narcissistic personality disorder. Or whatever the latest label … Continue reading
You cannot change other people. You don’t even have to change them, if you don’t like what they’re doing. All you have to do is make your own behavior consistent with what you think of them, and what you think … Continue reading
There’s an old term in psychology called “secondary gain.” I prefer to call it “subjective secondary gain.” This refers to what you’re really getting out of something that is otherwise irrational. Another way I once heard it put was, “How … Continue reading
“Manipulative” people are ones who lie or imply their motives for doing something are other than what they are. It’s not effective to be manipulative. Manipulation only “works” to the degree that your victim is not paying attention. Yet think … Continue reading
Hurrying is the alleged short-cut to competence. You don’t get an effective result by rushing. You get an effective result by being conscientious and accurate. More and more instances of doing something competently lead to greater and greater efficiency. But … Continue reading
Nobody wants to be used. But what does this term really mean? Some people say they’re being used merely because someone else gets something out of their personal encounter. But there’s nothing wrong with self-interest. Every encounter, whether business or … Continue reading
A reader asks: What’s the difference, if any, between “passion” and “drive”? Passion is the emotional excitement one has over something. Drive is the motivation to get it done, along with a commitment to determining (and following through on) the … Continue reading