The following are based on a review of the research and the experiences of many people I have encountered over the years: Get up at the same time every day. Wake up by the clock. That should be within one … Continue reading →

Toxic people are people who are bright and articulate — but deeply wrong. They invite you to think less of yourself, to question yourself for no particular reason. A toxic person does not say, “I don’t follow your reasoning” and … Continue reading →

Dear Dr. Hurd: I feel conflicted about my loneliness, because sometimes I think the people around me, who are seemingly rejecting me, are not worth knowing anyway. On the one hand, I want to know more people and feel less … Continue reading →

Dear Dr. Hurd: I have heroes I admire, and I try to live up to the standards of those heroes. But sometimes I make mistakes and I’m disappointed in myself for not living up to my standards. I also become … Continue reading →

Dear Dr. Hurd: I used to feel that I wasn’t equipped to survive in the business world. Even as I obtained successes, I still felt like I somehow didn’t deserve them. I eventually concluded this was irrational. What helped me … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd, I think I’ve determined once and for all that I do much better with some sort of forced structure — that is, a structure where I’m held accountable every day to show up, do something, etc. Do … Continue reading →

Skepticism is not the same as perpetual doubt. Imagine that you say, “I’ll never believe what this person says. In fact, because he says it, I’m sure it’s wrong.” This makes you every bit as dependent on the person, and … Continue reading →

There are two contexts for the notion of “crazy.” The first refers to a person who has sensory hallucinations and/or concretely, patently untrue delusions (e.g., the newscaster on the television is actually talking to me, personally). The second notion of … Continue reading →

Purpose and goals are not exactly the same thing. Purpose is an overall desire on a general level; a goal is more specific, and it feeds the more general purpose. Think of ‘purpose’ as the planet and ‘goals’ as the … Continue reading →

People have written in to ask me, “Do the little things in life, like cleaning your house, matter when it comes to serenity, peace of mind, mental health and self-esteem?” I say: Absolutely. Actually, minor things like cleaning the house … Continue reading →

Questions to ask yourself in a journal: What emotions do I feel right now? What percentage of today (0 to 100) did I experience each of the following emotions: Anger; sadness, irritation; joy; contentment; anxiety; disappointment; frustration? Which people or … Continue reading →

There’s something in psychology called “secondary gain.” This refers to what a person is actually getting out of doing something, even though it’s irrational. You can also call it “subjective gain” or, as I sometimes do, “the symptom serving the … Continue reading →