1. Have Kids Without Thinking. Too many people have kids because it’s the thing to do, it’s what they feel they should do, or because their spouse/partner wants them to. Very few have kids because they want to, because they … Continue reading
Parents of teenagers often expect their children to appreciate them. “All I’ve done for you! Why can’t you show gratitude?” To see the error here, think about what gratitude is. Gratitude is an emotion one feels towards someone for something … Continue reading
Dr. Hurd’s review of Dr. Stanton Samenow’s latest book, The Myth of the “Out of Character” Crime: People love to make excuses for, and rationalize, their own erroneous actions. Unfortunately this applies to criminals at least as much as ordinary … Continue reading
When it comes to child psychology, I much prefer Cesar Millan — “The Dog Whisperer” — to the mental health establishment. Millan is a dog psychologist, but he’s more of a human one than you think. In case you haven’t … Continue reading
Q: Dr. Hurd, in your recent article on addiction you mention and provide a link to Rational Recovery. What about the offshoot program, SMART Recovery? A: I don’t like SMART Recovery as much as Rational Recovery. It’s not as hard … Continue reading
People say “the truth hurts.” But which hurts more: Evasion of reality, or confrontation of reality as it is? Abusers of drugs and alcohol are evaders and deniers of reality. Are they really happier for their efforts? People who quit … Continue reading
A reporter wrote in and asked Dr. Hurd: Basically, my third part in this series focuses on care — and that’s a broad topic. The goal here is that somebody who might be going through addiction reads this, gets sound … Continue reading
Q: What do you advise people who want to quit smoking? I successfully reduced the number of cigarettes from 22 to 6 a day, but now I am stuck and I can’t get any further. I would welcome your advice. … Continue reading
Q: Dr. Hurd, can you please explain the psychology of “gotcha”? By this I mean the type of person who’s always ready to point out something you did wrong, or may have done wrong. I see it in the newspapers, … Continue reading
There are two ways to be an achiever. One type of achiever is trying to impress others; the other is simply trying to achieve. The second type gets more done. Why? Because his focus is exclusively on getting the job … Continue reading
People write in and ask me: “How can it be liberating to identify your contradictions? It’s painful!” In all honesty, this is the same as asking: “Why is it better to face reality? I’d rather live outside of reality, because … Continue reading
My field is psychology, but I owe a debt of gratitude to the field of philosophy. My two favorite philosophers are Aristotle (from early Greece) and Ayn Rand (from the 20th Century.) These two philosophers taught me that the underlying … Continue reading