Dr. Hurd: I’m at a crossroads and could use your perspective. I’ve fallen in love with my best friend. We’ve known each other for years. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. The catch: She’s married with kids and … Continue reading
Telling others what to do is an insult. It implies that the person you’re ordering to do something has no rational faculty of his or her own. If you went up to somebody and said, ‘You’re mindless. You can’t do … Continue reading
Q: This question is regarding your article, “The Biggest Mistake People Make” about changing people (see The Daily Dose of Reason 3/25/11). While the choice of action and thought will always remain with the individual, are we not affected by … Continue reading
Dr. Hurd: You wrote the following in a recent Life’s a Beach column: “The death of a beloved pet is certainly among the more difficult situations I face across in my office. I try to help people correct the mistaken … Continue reading
Some psychologists, and other moralistic alarmists, continue to be concerned about the presence of ‘too much’ self-esteem among today’s youth. They cite, as evidence, the responses of 16,475 college students nationwide who, between 1982 and 2006, completed an evaluation called … Continue reading
Continued from yesterday’s Daily Dose of Reason, concluding today. Defensiveness and Anger A final issue with anger involves defensiveness. Defensiveness is particularly relevant to marital or romantic relationships, though it can come up in friendships and business relationships as well. … Continue reading
Continued from yesterday’s Daily Dose of Reason When There Are No Solutions Another issue with anger involves the solution-oriented approach. Although focusing on solutions over being angry is a psychological cornerstone of anger management—for example, finding different routes to work … Continue reading
Continued from yesterday’s Daily Dose of Reason What are some antidotes to irrational anger? The most effective, but also the most difficult at times, is simply changing the way you think. Use your irrational angry outbursts—or the threat of one—as … Continue reading
Why are Some People Angrier than Others? According to Jerry Deffenbacher, Ph.D., a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more ‘hotheaded’ than others, becoming angry more easily and more intensely. There are also those who don’t … Continue reading
1) Call your troubling emotions an “illness.” An illness is something that happens to you independent of your control. While certain behaviors under your control (smoking, for example) may bring on illness, once an illness develops it runs its … Continue reading
Q: Dr. Hurd, I’m in high school. A friend of mine at school keeps complaining that his parents treat him harsher than they treat his older brother. It’s not that they’re abusive or anything. However, they seem to hold him … Continue reading
1. Have Kids Without Thinking. Too many people have kids because it’s the thing to do, it’s what they feel they should do, or because their spouse/partner wants them to. Very few have kids because they want to, because they … Continue reading