Many have written about romantic love, or all love, as a ‘mystery’. Or a product of ‘fate.’ Or ‘divine guidance,’ ‘karma,’ or other impossible-to-comprehend factors. But how about trying to explain this mystery called love? Why surrender all understanding of … Continue reading
…in these words, “the motive force of society is the government”; once men consider themselves as sentient, but passive, incapable of improving themselves morally or materially by their own intelligence and energy, and reduced to expecting everything from the law; … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: I know that you focus on present issues, not childhood issues. But sometimes childhood issues are alive and ‘well’ in the present. Let me give you a couple of examples. Ever since I was very young (my … Continue reading
A reader asks: Why are some people achievers while others are not? It all depends on what you value, and how well you internalize what you value. At root of it all is a value of your life. If you … Continue reading
Many people worry they have psychological ‘baggage.’ For example, they go through a bad marriage or other prolonged, emotionally traumatic experience. They fear this baggage will harm them in future relationships. Or they think it might otherwise impair their future … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, They say you should never do business with friends, and I guess it’s true. We (my wife and I) did business with a friend in our hometown, and now there are problems with the items we purchased. … Continue reading
A reader asks: ‘How do you approach religious issues with depressed or troubled people, since you’re not religious yourself, and since therapists don’t usually address religion anyway?’ I find a lot of people non-committal about religion. ‘I believe in God, … Continue reading
“Since the inception of Alcoholics Anonymous — the progenitor of 12-step programs — science has sometimes been at odds with the notion that laypeople can cure themselves because the numerous spiritual references that go with the 12-step program puts AA … Continue reading
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow And it works both ways! If you underestimate your potential, or if you ignore your prior … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, My husband and I (no children) have been very happy for the last four years. Up until now. He has become Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He’s fine one minute, then, in response to the slightest thing, … Continue reading
Which is more important: Mental health or personal responsibility? I say both—equally. Why? Because the two are intertwined. A mentally healthy person understands that emotions result from thoughts. In other words, it isn’t possible to say or think, ‘You made … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: I’ve learned to ride a bike. I cannot unlearn this, unless through a physical event such as a stroke or accident. I cannot replace this learning by learning to ride a motorcycle or any other vehicle. I … Continue reading