The following is from my book Bad Therapy Good Therapy: And How to Tell the Difference: To accept the view of man as a rational animal does not preclude the fact that emotions are a normal and potentially beautiful … Continue reading
So many people misunderstand forgiveness. You cannot forgive someone who’s not sorry. I repeat: You CANNOT forgive someone who’s not sorry. This isn’t merely an opinion. I’m not saying, “You SHOULD not forgive someone who’s not sorry.” That would be … Continue reading
“Police: Woman Shot 3 Victims at YouTube’s San Bruno HQ, Then Killed Self” reads the headline. It’s still a developing story, of course. Regardless, it’s obviously tragic. But already people are asking why someone would do this — kill themselves … Continue reading
How do you know if your standard of happiness is realistic? I hear a lot of people asking, “Do I want too much?” I know of two ways to answer this question. Does somebody you know, or know about, have … Continue reading
Why do people get hostile when fighting about politics, religion, etc.? The main reason: Because they take it personally. And usually this is a mistake. It’s understandable to feel or think: “If someone assaults one of my most important values … Continue reading
It’s really important to fill your life with beauty. Particularly because we live in such a cynical, hard-edged era. Beauty matters. And it can take on many forms. Art can be beautiful. It’s often trash or mediocre, but the classics … Continue reading
Two factors make behavioral and emotional change difficult. One, the level of entrenched programming in your mind of the self-defeating, irrational or counterproductive thoughts. Two, the degree to which you’re motivated (or not motivated) to change yourself. Consider a substance … Continue reading
What does it mean to “take things personally”? As if it’s automatically and always a mistake. The basic error is assuming it’s all about you, when it’s not. While from your own point-of-view, your own life is — and should … Continue reading
The other day, I heard somebody use the expression “mining for issues”. The context was looking for trouble. Or looking for things to be anxious about, without realizing that’s what’s happening. The most self-responsible and reasonable of us are often … Continue reading
Some people wonder why I block people with whom I disagree, whether the subject is government, rights, psychology or just life. They ask, “Don’t you welcome dissenting opinion?” Of course I welcome dissenting opinion. But that opinion has to be … Continue reading
Psychotherapy and psychological counseling refer to a process of self-change. However, not everyone wants to change. Even people in therapy don’t always want to change. Of course, psychotherapy clients want relief from their symptoms, depression, anxiety, and other painful emotions. … Continue reading
There’s no law (at least yet) saying you have to make New Year’s resolutions. Nor is there a law forbidding you from making resolutions any time during the year. What’s the point of a resolution, anyway? To make your life … Continue reading