People often ask me, “What does a psychotherapist do? What happens in psychotherapy? The short answer is that we help people identify what’s bothering them about other people in their lives, and help them figure out how to change the … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Why Bullies Bully (DE Wave)
With all the political rhetoric about bullying going on here in Delaware, the subject recently hit a little too close to home. A good friend confided to me that his son – a smart, gentle and pleasant 11-year-old, was being … Continue reading
“Change For Me!” (DE Coast Press)
A reader emails that her husband harps on her to moderate her drinking, smoking, eating, etc. She knows he loves her, but she worries that his concern for her health isn’t enough to motivate her. She tries to cut back, … Continue reading
Are you the windshield, or the bug? (DE Wave)
“You can’t do that! It’s not fair! I never get a fair shake!” How many times have we heard (or said) these things? When one is especially frustrated about the timing of events or the pile-up of ordinary stressors, it’s … Continue reading
Searching For a Decent Therapist? (DE Coast Press)
People often make appointments with me to “fine-tune” some aspect of their life. For example, a reader emails that he and his wife want to attend marriage counseling to help make things “as vibrant and healthy as possible.” He goes … Continue reading
Five Ways NOT to Feel Sorry for Yourself (DE Wave)
People often say to me, “Why am I feeling down? Why do I feel sorry for myself?” It’s a perfectly reasonable observation, but it doesn’t get to the heart of why some people cope better than others. The key to … Continue reading
Don’t Be Ashamed of Your Success (DE Coast Press)
I received an email from a reader regarding a recent column where I wrote that a fear of success could be a fear of being “found out” as a fraud – whether you earned the success or not. The writer … Continue reading
Can Anxiety Be a GOOD Thing? (DE Wave)
Contrary to what the drug companies would have you think, anxiety can often be a useful and necessary thing; specifically, when that anxiety triggers a call to sensible action. For example, you feel anxious at the sight of an oncoming … Continue reading
Your Past Does Not Define You (DE Coast Press)
Pop-psychology loves to tout that the purpose of therapy is to “deal with the past.” I suspect that at least part of that comes from the feel-good prattle that pervades Oprah, Ellen, and the rest of daytime TV’s vast wasteland. … Continue reading
When Use Becomes Abuse (DE Wave)
It never ceases to amaze me how people can fire off a snippy email to me when it’s obvious that they haven’t even read my entire article. (I urge you to keep on firing, however – I get many of … Continue reading
What Hypnosis Is — and Is Not (DE Coast Press)
I get a lot of questions about hypnosis. The most common misperception is that it’s a state of unconsciousness, like sleep. Actually, most experts define hypnosis as a “special psychological state with certain physiological attributes, resembling sleep only superficially and … Continue reading
Embrace the Positive in Place of Victim-Think (DE Wave)
Well, it’s just around the corner. Though most of us full-timers secretly look forward to it, we still grumble, “I’m sick of the traffic! What? More construction? Things aren’t what they used to be! Who are all these people!?” But … Continue reading