Everything we do, we do for a reason. All behavior, no matter how self-destructive it may seem, serves an emotional purpose. It’s not that somebody “shouldn’t” be acting in a certain way; it’s that they ARE acting that way to … Continue reading
When clients ask me about relaxation exercises, I often suggest deep breathing. The influx of oxygen can help relieve stress, and it’s a lot less risky and expensive than medication. But, like medication, oxygen is only a temporary fix. In … Continue reading
People sometimes tell me that their spouses, family members or friends accuse them of being too sensitive. I equate that with somebody telling you, “I don’t like what you’re feeling.” That can certainly be annoying, since it isn’t a statement … Continue reading
One of the highlights of my week is the quiet morning when I sit down with a cup of coffee and confront my glowing computer screen. It stares blankly back at me, and I know what it wants: The first … Continue reading
Pop psychology (mostly in the vast wasteland of daytime TV) loves to tout psychotherapy as “dealing with the past.” At least part of that comes from the feel-good prattle that pervades shows like Oprah and the like. But when the … Continue reading
Well, here we are in (what’s left of) our “off-season”, and, like every year, our resort becomes just a small town. This is when I start hearing one of the most common off-season complaints: “Everybody knows your business.” Though it’s … Continue reading
The past few years have demonstrated that how we say things can change our view of them. For example, a parent recently told me that her son “has anger issues.” Her comment referred to an unexplained, and frankly rude, outburst … Continue reading
It’s a rare moment when we don’t experience an emotion. But is it based in fact, or is it just a reaction (right or wrong) to some stimulus? When you experience an emotion, it’s important to identify it – but … Continue reading
How many times have we heard the adage, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” Some might call it conventional wisdom, but as far as I’m concerned it’s just conventional – at best. To place an emphasis on … Continue reading
In my almost 40 years talking to people professionally, I have discovered that most people’s fears are not rational, i.e., not based on facts. Much of what we feel as fear is nothing more than avoidance just for the sake … Continue reading
A growing volume of research appears to indicate that self-esteem might not be all it’s cracked up to be. Studies have shown that many people – from valedictorians to low-achieving students and everyone in between – think quite highly of … Continue reading
A website visitor tells me about her friend who is divorced from a man who was somewhat abusive. Her friend enjoys being with her new boyfriend because he is kind to her. However, the reader’s friend confides in her that … Continue reading