People often tell me that they don’t feel motivated to do something because they lack the conviction that they have a good reason to do it. In other words, that reason must be connected to one’s self-interest. If your child … Continue reading
How often have we heard – or even said – “I need a drink! I’ve had a hard day. I need a nice big meal — or a cigarette….” In the face of stress, it can be tempting to self-medicate … Continue reading
A Delaware Wave reader emails that she’s resentful over other people’s success. Rich people, TV stars, neighbors who are thriving in business … she feels they are all bringing her down with their accomplishments. Imitation may be the sincerest form … Continue reading
Clients often tell me that they feel like they’re never going to get caught up. They worry about how (and when) they’re going to achieve all the goals they’ve set for themselves. In other words, “I’ll get to it next … Continue reading
Ever heard the saying, “You are what you do”? Seems to me that there’s more to life than just our jobs. But for many people, the problem isn’t how much they work, but how they define themselves in relation to … Continue reading
A longtime fan of this column emails about her boyfriend. They had been dating for several years, and as their relationship progressed, they began to discuss the possibility of moving in together. It was during those discussions that she began … Continue reading
I’ve always liked the old proverb, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” I can’t help but follow it up with something like, “So you’d better be ready for whatever might be down that … Continue reading
It’s important to be careful about the way we phrase things when talking about ourselves or others. And “being nice” has nothing to do with it; the way we phrase things has an impact on how we view them, and … Continue reading
Many people are trained to believe that it’s always right to compromise, i.e., to meet the other person halfway. That might sound nice, but in my experience it doesn’t always work. All action needs to be purposeful. And two things … Continue reading
How many times have we heard the expression that somebody “takes things personally”? Is it always a mistake to feel that way? It can be a basic error to assume that everything is always about you, when in fact it’s … Continue reading
A friend told me recently that she wants to stop “mining for issues.” I liked her metaphor! She told me that she found herself actually looking for things to be anxious and worried about. Looking back at my clinical experience, … Continue reading
Remember “The Dog Whisperer” on National Geographic Channel? It featured the celebrated dog behavior specialist, Cesar Millan. His common-sense approach to controlling the conduct of dogs worked perfectly, time after time. Interestingly, in every episode it became obvious that the … Continue reading