Avoiding confrontation at any cost is not the way to run a relationship. People tell me all the time about how their spouse/partner does things that bother them. I invariably ask: “Why are you telling me and not him (her)?” … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
A Little Conflict Can Be a GOOD Thing
Many people are under the impression that they can avoid trouble in their relationships by not arguing. They mistakenly assume that the absence of fighting – or any disagreement – is an indication that the relationship is healthy. But that … Continue reading
Helping Kids Make Sense Out of Dollars
It’s a rare day when a client doesn’t ask me about kids and responsibility about money. I’m in the interesting position of having talked to thousands of people about their childhoods while simultaneously observing how they now live their adult … Continue reading
Does Suffering REALLY Strengthen Character?
For many years, “conventional wisdom” (often not wisdom at all) has preached to us that suffering strengthens character. We nod wisely and walk away – while quietly wondering how that can possibly be the case. What suffering can actually do … Continue reading
Fear & Magical Thinking
In my 35+ years talking to people professionally, I have discovered that most people’s fears are not rational, i.e., not based on facts. Most fear results in nothing more than avoidance just for the sake of avoidance. “If I avoid … Continue reading
Successful Relationships Require a Good Connection
One of the most common questions I encounter in my office end up being about relationships. Couples often tell me that they don’t feel “connected,” or that their relationship failed because they were not “connected.” When I ask them what … Continue reading
Hear Yourself Most of All
When facing an important decision about relationships and other personal issues, it’s often best to consider your own advice first. After all, who’s better suited to know what’s right for you than … you? Recently, I spoke with a friend … Continue reading
Can predatory behavior be cured with a pill?
Barely a day goes by without reading about some high-profile celebrity in trouble. Examples include the infamous Harvey Weinstein, as well as House of Cards’ star, Kevin Spacey. Such celebrities faced charges of sexual wrongdoing, and were given a pause … Continue reading
Beware Arbitrary Assertions
I often warn my clients about believing arbitrary assertions; in other words, acting on something for which there are no facts to back it up. This wholesale acceptance of whatever anyone tells you is terribly unhealthy from a psychological point … Continue reading
Give Confrontation a Try. You might be Surprised!
Avoiding confrontation at any cost is not the way to run a relationship. People tell me all the time about how their spouse/partner does things that bother them. I invariably ask: “Why are you telling me and not him (her)?” … Continue reading
Teen anxiety: A sign of the times?
Writing at Psychology Today, psychotherapist Amy Morin offers “10 Reasons American Teens Are More Anxious Than Ever”. But let’s take a closer look: Do we actually know teens are more anxious than ever? And more anxious compared to when? Like … Continue reading
Is it a Challenge to Remember?
Memory problems are frustrating. People joke about “senior moments” while others worry about the possibility of dementia. Dementia is actually a disease of the brain, but normal memory ultimately has more to do with how you manage (or don’t manage) … Continue reading