My day-to-day experience repeatedly debunks the myth that good relationships require constant work. Good relationships already work well, because each partner is getting what he or she wants. Anyone in a happy, mutually satisfying relationship will tell you that there’s … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Dealing With a “Stalled” Relationship
One of the biggest problems in many personal or business relationships is the assumption that there’s a conflict of interest – when in fact there isn’t. When personal relationships degenerate into unhappiness, you’ll almost always find the partners have adopted … Continue reading
Is There Somebody Who Pushes Your Buttons?
We all know somebody who says, “He pushes my buttons.” Or “She knows how to manipulate me.” But what do these complaints actually mean? Steven Stosny, Ph.D. at psychologytoday.com states that “Emotions move us.” Indeed, the Latin root of the … Continue reading
“Mental Illness” … Is It Really the Same as Medical Illness?
I appreciate it when people respond to these columns. It’s nice to know that somebody’s on the other end of this keyboard. In a recent article I reiterated the fact that addiction to drugs, alcohol or whatever has been falsely … Continue reading
Is it True that All’s Fair in Love?
I received an email from a regular reader of this column. It goes like this: “Dear Dr. Hurd. I’m at a crossroads. I’ve fallen in love with my best friend whom I have known for years. The catch? She’s married … Continue reading
Why Do People Break Promises?
I think that’s a question worth asking. We see promises broken all the time in politics, but people also encounter it in everyday life. My experience suggests that, at the root, promise-breaking points to a lack of character. What gives … Continue reading
Is it Bad to Feel Sorry for Yourself?
I see many smart and well-meaning people in my office. From time to time I’ll encounter a person who is well-adjusted and psychologically healthy, but who feels sorry for him- or herself. If he or she is indeed mentally healthy … Continue reading
Pills are not the Cure for Victim-Think
I received this email from a Delaware Coast Press reader: “Dear Dr. Hurd, My brother is 32. He has never held a job a job for longer than a couple of weeks and he, his wife and daughter live with … Continue reading
You are Ultimately your Own Boss
Rarely does a day go by that people don’t talk to me about their jobs. I always say that the best motivation for work is happiness and fulfillment, no matter what your job. Though that fulfillment might not happen all … Continue reading
Exactly What Do Therapists Mean by Abandonment?
Interestingly enough, the topic of abandonment is a fairly common topic of conversation in my office. Let’s take a closer look at what therapists mean when they speak of “abandonment issues.” In general, it has to do with childhood experiences. … Continue reading
You Can’t LEARN How to be Motivated
A new year inevitably brings promises of resolutions kept and goals achieved. More often than not, these promises and achievements are never met. Could it be that it takes more than just a calendar to generate motivation? A motivational speaker … Continue reading
Oops … Don’t Forget those New Year’s Resolutions!
Champagne and a couple dozen cocktail wieners can sometimes result in pretty outlandish New Year’s resolutions. It can be a challenge to say what you mean and mean what you say when you’re balancing a lampshade on your head. But … Continue reading