So there it sits, buried under crumpled Frosty the Snowman wrapping paper and pine needles: The gargoyle ashtray from Aunt Mimma (you haven’t smoked for 43 years). Not to mention the deviled eggs glaring back at you from the dark … Continue reading →

Several readers asked me to clarify the difference between short-term compromise and all-out self-sacrifice. More than one Life’s a Beach! column has emphasized that the latter should never be part of a marriage, or any partnered relationship. A short-term compromise … Continue reading →

It’s never a good idea to mix business with friendship. It may seem perfectly natural to go into business with, or to employ (or be employed by) your friend, but those who have actually done that know that both relationships … Continue reading →

You need a license to drive a car, to open a business or to serve liquor, but you don’t need a license to raise a child. Though the word “license” implies some sort of permission, my point here is that … Continue reading →

A reader emails that she is searching for the reason why a man she had been dating fell apart and ended their relationship in reaction to a comment she made about herself. Interestingly, just the day before, he told her … Continue reading →

Clients sometimes describe a spouse, family member or friend as “contrary.” In other words, the person constantly disagrees just for the sake of disagreeing. Such a person is often referred to as a “rationalist” (though “annoying” is a good alternative). … Continue reading →

People often use the terms “feeling safe” or “feeling emotionally safe.” But exactly what does that mean? Usually, we think of “safety” in a physical sense. We seek safety from a criminal or anyone who threatens our comfort or way … Continue reading →

Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful. That sounds very nice, but it’s a bit too general for my taste. I like to look at Thanksgiving as a time of perspective: To think about what’s right, both with the world … Continue reading →

Holiday festivities with family and friends can be fun. But increased interaction (and perhaps cramped quarters) can also create frustration over what some people may say or do. Sometimes it’s hard to watch someone say things or make decisions that … Continue reading →

A growing volume of research appears to indicate that self-esteem might not be all it’s cracked up to be. Studies have shown that many valedictorians, low-achieving students and everyone in between think quite highly of themselves. Violent criminals are no … Continue reading →

Clients often ask me if their children or adults in their lives are just looking for attention when they “act up” or become emotionally distraught. This is often true, but the issue isn’t attention as much as visibility. People have … Continue reading →

People often ask me if anything annoys me about my job. I love what I do. But if anything gets to me, it’s when a client pays me good money for advice, and then doesn’t take it – returning again … Continue reading →