Barely a day goes by when somebody doesn’t ask me how much they should blame their parents for problems that might have arisen in childhood. No matter what the specific issue, my response is always the same: Hold your parents … Continue reading →

Celebrated songwriter Neil Sedaka wasn’t far from the truth when he co-wrote the hit song “Breaking Up is Hard to Do.” The emotional impact of a breakup can be devastating, with feelings ranging from bewilderment to shock, from hurt to … Continue reading →

A reader emails about a sticky situation: She and her husband are empty nesters, both with professional careers. Her career in the arts is unstable by nature, and the loss of that job is imminent. Her husband is happy in … Continue reading →

Valentine’s Day got me thinking about something we all seem to crave: Unconditional love. Readers and clients tell me all the time how unconditional love, especially for a child or a parent, is the highest ideal we could live up … Continue reading →

One of the down sides of Alcoholics Anonymous and similar programs is that they have brainwashed most of us into believing that alcoholism is a disease. There’s no proof of this, i.e., no empirical evidence of disease verifiable by MRI, … Continue reading →

I’ve encountered clients over the years who report that certain noises make them feel uncomfortable and angry. A bit of research introduced me to the term “misophonia”: a debilitating situation where a “trigger stimulus” (some sort of sound) becomes intolerable … Continue reading →

Clients and friends often express their desire to become a therapist. One friend in particular is interested in childhood trauma and its possible connection to post traumatic stress disorder. He says that he comes from a family of alcoholism and … Continue reading →

I’ve always liked the saying, “If it were easy, everybody would be doing it.” Sadly, the natural response to that is often, “Well, it must be nice to have… [whatever you earned that they resent your having earned].” A successful … Continue reading →

People often ask me how they can find a skilled and effective therapist in their area. Of course, I see this as an ideal way to promote my most recent book, “Bad Therapy, Good Therapy (And How to Tell the … Continue reading →

Noted educator Maria Montessori once said, “Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.” This beautiful statement has many implications for children and for education in general. I’d like to generalize a bit more … Continue reading →

Remember “The Dog Whisperer” on National Geographic Channel? It featured the celebrated dog behavior specialist, Cesar Millan. His common-sense approach to controlling the conduct of dogs worked unfailingly, time after time. Interestingly, in every episode it quickly became obvious that … Continue reading →

We should be careful about the way we phrase things when talking about ourselves or others. And “being nice” has nothing to do with it; the way we phrase things has an impact on how we view them, and sometimes … Continue reading →