A Delaware Wave reader sent me a rather anxious email. He’s seeking “closure” from his girlfriend who recently dumped him. Closure is a vague but popular concept that hopes for a neat, painless ending along with the detached perspective of … Continue reading
People occasionally confide to me that they don’t believe in therapy, life coaching or any kind of professional help. When I ask them to clarify, it often boils down to the idea that such help requires “uncritical belief.” Well, that … Continue reading
Pop psychology (mostly in the vast wasteland of daytime TV) loves to tout psychotherapy as “dealing with the past.” At least part of that comes from the feel-good prattle that pervades shows like Oprah, Ellen and the like. But when … Continue reading
The “stay-at-home” trend has generated some interesting comments from my clients. Some couples are finding that all this togetherness isn’t quite as easy as they thought it might be. Many seek advice about this, but the truth is that marital … Continue reading
A Cornell University study asks, “Why do teens do stupid things?” My response: “Well, not so fast.” Not all teens do stupid things. There’s nothing about being young that makes stupidity inevitable. It’s true that teens don’t have the knowledge … Continue reading
A website visitor writes, “I have a friend who projects her shortcomings and personality faults onto others; holding them accountable for those actions or inactions. For example, she’s always late, yet she expresses anger when others are late. Why does … Continue reading
Around this time of year I often get questions about personal growth and how it changes relationships with friends, romantic partners and family. When people improve themselves in ways that increase their self-esteem and confidence, their relationships also change. I … Continue reading
A reader emails: “Dear Dr. Hurd, my brother is 32. He doesn’t work. He, his wife and daughter live with our mother. They scrape by on disability, food stamps and our Mom’s generosity. I believe that his disrespect and mooching … Continue reading
This may sound strange coming from someone trained as a mental health professional, but I’m perpetually disgusted with the majority of self-help babble in bookstores, or worse yet on daytime TV. My gripe is with the emphasis on “how to.” … Continue reading
A faithful reader of this column emailed me that he and his wife argue quite a bit. Though it seems destructive, he says they always make up with the problem solved. He asks if arguing is a constructive way to … Continue reading
For some, dealing with stress can be a time for reflection. In my business, we call it “introspection”; a time for quiet exploration of your true feelings, wants and needs. When clients present to me with stress or frustration, I … Continue reading
I see so many people who spend more years caring for their elderly parents than they spent raising their own children. This is becoming more and more commonplace as advances in medical science continue to extend the lives of Baby … Continue reading