Regular readers of this column know that I have written over and over that love is not sacrifice. When you love someone, you want them to be happy. When someone loves you, you want them to do something for you … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Sometimes Affirmations AREN’T the Answer
From time to time clients will tell me that they like to read peppy little affirmations first thing in the morning. But interestingly enough, some clients tell me that these fluffy, hyperbolic one-size-fits-all sentences feel like nothing more than false … Continue reading
How to Judge Yourself
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” Wise words, and it works both ways! If you underestimate your potential, or if you ignore … Continue reading
Don’t Encourage Abusers with Silence
A website visitor writes, “My husband and I (we have no children) have been happy for the last four years. But now, he has suddenly become Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He’s fine one minute, then in response to the … Continue reading
Keep it Real by Being Honest
One of the biggest impediments to human associations is the unwillingness to say what you think and ask for what you want. Note the word “ask”; no one is entitled to anything from another person simply because he or she … Continue reading
Post-Retirement Anxiety? It’s Entirely Fixable.
A Delaware Wave reader writes that he and his wife recently retired here at the beach. But in spite of that, he’s not happy. It doesn’t have to do with anything specific; things are fine with his wife and his … Continue reading
Can Potential/Former Lovers Be “Just Friends”?
A reader asks if it’s possible to be just friends with somebody to whom you are attracted romantically, even if they don’t feel the same way. She goes on to ask if that can also apply to an ex-spouse or … Continue reading
Why People Don’t Follow Good, Rational Advice
One of the more interesting facets of my practice is the otherwise well-meaning clients who don’t take my advice or suggestions – in spite of the fact that they are paying me for those very things. Over the years I’ve … Continue reading
Magical Thinking Won’t Win Your War Against Reality
We’ve all seen people react badly or rudely when they’re told something they’d rather not hear. And it’s just as bad when you don’t say what they want to hear. The perfect example is an email I received from a … Continue reading
It’s Your Life … Take Back Your Power!
People often ask me if anything annoys me about my job. I love what I do. But if anything gets to me, it’s when a client pays me good money for advice, and then doesn’t take it – returning again … Continue reading
Don’t Stress Yourself by “Mining for Issues”
A friend told me recently that she wants to resolve in the new year to stop “mining for issues.” I liked her metaphor! She told me that she found herself actually looking for things to be anxious and worried about. … Continue reading
Don’t Let Others Take Control of your Emotions
How many times have we heard the expression that somebody “takes things personally”? Is it always a mistake to feel that way? It can be a basic error to assume that everything is always about you, when in fact it’s … Continue reading