Rarely does a social occasion go by that somebody doesn’t ask me what a psychotherapist does. I resist the urge to mumble something about secret handshakes, decoder rings and electric shocks, then I try to answer the question truthfully: One … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Being in Love with Love isn’t Enough
Marriage and commitment are often at the top of the list when I talk to people in my office. And for good reason! Research shows that in the U.S., about half of first marriages fail, as do two-thirds of second … Continue reading
With Teens, it all Comes Down to Self-Respect
When it comes to teenagers, one of the subjects that comes up in my office is interpersonal relationships — especially sex. In a study presented at a meeting of the American Public Health Association, researchers at the University of Kentucky … Continue reading
Financial Issues Can Lead to Relationship Troubles
As summer approaches and families gather at the beach, lingering financial issues can sometimes become a source of, shall we say … discussion … when debating where to go on vacation or maybe just where to have tonight’s dinner. If … Continue reading
You Can’t Blame ‘The Economy’ for Everything
A reader tells me that her 22-year-old son graduated from college last May and returned home to live. She loves having him here, but also realizes that he needs to get on with his life. In spite of the forest … Continue reading
Should Widowed People Remarry?
As Mothers’ Day approaches, I get a surprising number of questions about whether older widowed people should remarry. The obvious answer is, of course, yes – if they want to. But some widows and widowers feel it’s disloyal to their … Continue reading
What IS a Friend?
People often tell me that they feel used because someone gets something out of being with them. But wait … there’s nothing wrong with self-interest! Every relationship, whether business or personal, needs to be mutually beneficial. However, choosing to intentionally … Continue reading
Don’t Ever Mistake Control for Love
A visitor to my website writes, “My wife of two years goes out of her way to control me. Everything from constant phone calls asking where I am, to ordering me to go to sleep when it suits her, or … Continue reading
Is It Always Good to Feel Good?
How many times today will somebody ask you how you’re feeling? But is feeling good the primary goal of our human experience? Wait … before you turn the page, think about it: Does it always feel good to do the … Continue reading
It’s Not Always the Parents’ Fault
Barely a day goes by when somebody doesn’t ask me if they should blame their parents for various problems that might have arisen in childhood. No matter what the specific issue, my response is always the same: You can hold … Continue reading
Not Every Problem is a Disease
Over the years I’ve encountered clients who tell me that certain sounds make them feel uncomfortable and angry. A bit of research introduced me to the term “misophonia”: a debilitating situation where a “trigger stimulus” (some sort of sound) becomes … Continue reading
How to Fight Winter SAD – ness
In spite of the fact that warmer weather is just around the corner, I still encounter people who feel depressed and gloomy not only through the winter but even as the promise of spring is within reach. This is often … Continue reading