Parents of teenagers sometimes often tell me that they don’t feel appreciated by their kids. “Look at all I’ve done for them,” they say. “Why can’t they show gratitude?” As reasonable as this may seem, it contains a huge error. … Continue reading
One of the ongoing – and most private – issues I address in my office is the issue of anorexia. Anorexia is generally defined as a pathological refusal to eat. According to Dr. Walter Kaye, professor of psychiatry at the … Continue reading
Most of us think it’s cute when a child covers his or her ears when you speak. But when an adult evades, denies or ignores something significant, that’s where cute ends and denial begins. It’s the equivalent of saying, “If … Continue reading
A reader emails that her best friend is unhappy in her marriage. She writes, “It really pains me to see her this way. I think she’s sort of looking for someone to tell her to leave him. Is it my … Continue reading
A website visitor writes, “My husband and I (we have no children) have been happy for the last four years. But now, he has suddenly become Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He’s fine one minute, then in response to the … Continue reading
I see many examples of spouses and partners who endure consistent and systematic meanness from their significant others. This pattern is more prevalent than you might think, and the clinical term for it is emotional abuse. There are a number … Continue reading
People often ask me, “What does a psychotherapist do? What happens in psychotherapy? The short answer is that a skilled therapist can help people identify what bothers them about other people in their lives, and then help them figure out … Continue reading
Clients often ask me if the children (or adults) in their lives are just looking for attention when they “act up” or become emotionally distraught. This is often true, but the goal isn’t attention as much as what I call … Continue reading
A lot of people like to read peppy little affirmations first thing in the morning. But some clients tell me that fluffy, hyperbolic one-size-fits-all platitudes feel like nothing more than false hype. That annoyance can make it difficult to absorb … Continue reading
Several readers asked me to clarify the difference between short-term compromise and all-out self-sacrifice when it comes to relationships. Over the last 18 or so years, more than one Life’s a Beach! column has emphasized that the latter should never … Continue reading
I’ve always liked the saying, “If it were easy, everybody would be doing it.” Sadly, the natural response to that is often, “Well, it must be nice to have… [whatever they resent your having earned].” A successful person doesn’t just … Continue reading
Not every client I see presents with a major crisis. Sometimes a person just needs someone to talk to. But if it’s bothering them, then my job is to try to help them as much as I can. One recent … Continue reading