Few things are more annoying than being nagged (except perhaps being accused of it). Nagging stems from the false belief that repetition creates motivation. It never does, and in fact, it lowers respect and reveals weakness by saying, in effect, … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Try for Independence
A friend of mine sold his successful business and retired. In order to fill his spare time, he took a job in a small specialty store. Money was not really a factor, but the adjustment from “employer” to “employee” was … Continue reading
Does the Negative Matter More than the Positive?
Today’s culture of bad news and scandal has generated so many questions in my office. Basically, people ask me how they can keep from being cynical, but at the same time not be naïve in the face of negativity and … Continue reading
Do it Now. It’s Good for You.
So many people tell me that they often put off until tomorrow what they should have done today. For many, their procrastination is so bad that it causes stress in their jobs and in their personal lives. If this sounds … Continue reading
A Journal is Not a Diary; So What Is It?
For some, living at or visiting the beach can be a time for reflection. I call it “introspection”; a time for quiet exploration of your true feelings, wants and needs. When clients present to me with stress or frustration, I … Continue reading
The Search for Love
A question I hear almost daily in my office is what factors or behaviors can prevent one from finding a loving relationship. The answer boils down to a combination of reasons, the first of which is simply not searching persistently … Continue reading
Your Potential for Greatness Lies in Your Strengths
I received an email from a reader regarding a recent column where I wrote that a fear of success could be a fear of being “found out” as a fraud – whether you earned the success or not. The writer … Continue reading
Your Achievements Benefit Everyone
I’ve always liked the saying, “If it were easy, everybody would be doing it.” Sadly, the natural response to that is often, “Well, it must be nice to have… [whatever you earned that they resent your having earned].” A successful … Continue reading
You ARE What You Think!
A regular reader of this column sent me an email asking for my perspective on an interesting psychological oddity, namely, people who don’t like to be treated well. Most of us want to be treated with kindness and respect, but … Continue reading
The Dangers of Psychological Projection
I recently had a close encounter (of the obnoxious kind) in a local grocery store. Regular readers know that these little adventures of mine often end up as columns, so here goes. A woman who showed no evidence of disability … Continue reading
Are You Adversarial … or Realistic?
Two approaches to life characterize the majority of human interactions. One is the adversarial mentality, and the other is the realistic mentality. The adversarial mentality rests upon illogical but (to some people) emotionally appealing ideas about how human beings get … Continue reading
Tough Love can Resolve a Crisis in Confidence
A website visitor asks, “I’m hoping you can help out with my 27-year-old son. He was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) back in high school, and nothing has been the same since. He’s just an older version of … Continue reading