Around the holidays, people often ask me about greed and why the season is so ‘materialistic.’ Well, I don’t believe there’s such a thing as ‘materialism.’ All of us need and want material things. It’s only a matter of degree. … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Not everybody welcomes change
I often get questions about personal growth and how it changes relationships with friends, romantic partners and family. When people improve themselves in ways that increase their self-esteem and confidence, their relationships will surely change. Every person plays a role … Continue reading
Why Take it Personally?
As the holidays approach, most of us will have increased interaction with clerks in stores and servers in restaurants. Most of us know how to conduct themselves in these situations, but I often hear about people who complain about the … Continue reading
Is all fair in love?
Dear Dr. Hurd, I’m at a crossroads. I’ve fallen in love with my best friend whom I have known for years. The catch? She’s married with kids and dedicated to her family. I’m not entirely sure of the depth of … Continue reading
With Friends Like These…
A regular reader emails that she’s going through a difficult divorce. It’s not about money, and there are no kids to worry about. The problem is with her friends. It seems that they’re shunning either her or her former husband … Continue reading
Finding fault in all the wrong places
I recently had a close encounter (of the obnoxious kind) in a local grocery store. My regular readers know that these little adventures of mine frequently end up as columns, and this one’s no exception. A woman who showed no … Continue reading
Are you modest, or arrogant?
One of the great things about writing a newspaper column is wondering what’s going to show up in your email box. Every logon brings a vague sense of anticipation (or is that dread?). This morning’s ritual was no different, and … Continue reading
The Psychology of Disguise
It’s a rare Halloween season where I don’t get a few inquiries about the psychology of costumes and disguise. The mystical foundations supposedly stem from the ancient belief that if you disguise yourself on this special night, a confused Grim … Continue reading
More about Pity and Contempt
A reader kindly emailed that she liked my recent article where I answered a question about pity actually being contempt. She makes it a little more personal by asking if self-pity is also self-contempt. Affirmative again. It follows logically that … Continue reading
Look for Integrity First
Dear Dr. Hurd, I am a straight male who is attracted to a woman who is bisexual. She is also attracted to me. I want a committed, monogamous relationship, but am uneasy about making such a commitment with her because … Continue reading
Avoid hypocrisy for positive change
A website visitor writes, ‘I have a friend who projects her own shortcomings and personality faults onto others; holding them accountable for those actions or inactions. For example, she’s always late, yet she expresses anger when others are late. Why … Continue reading
Does Pain Make Us Stronger?
I have a friend who loves to proclaim, ‘Suffering strengthens character’ whenever anything goes wrong — especially if he caused it. I admit it’s kind of funny (if not a bit annoying), but I totally disagree with the idea. It’s … Continue reading