A Delaware Wave reader emails, “Dear Dr. Hurd, my “progressive” friends are always telling me to “go with my feelings and say what I feel.” But is it advisable to just blurt out whatever happens to pop into your head … Continue reading
I’ve written before about how aging parents can sometimes become manipulative; appearing to be more “helpless” than they actually are. Interestingly, your responses were 100% in agreement, but many questioned how to verbally approach the issue. Well, sometimes it’s all … Continue reading
I don’t understand all the enthusiasm over multitasking. Housewives and business people brag, “Look at me. I’m multitasking,” implying, I guess, that they’re accomplishing more than they could if they only did one thing at a time. Let’s take a … Continue reading
Barely a day goes by that somebody doesn’t ask me what a psychotherapist does. Though I’m tempted to mumble something about secret handshakes, decoder rings and electric shocks, I go ahead and try to answer the question truthfully. One of … Continue reading
People often tell me that they feel used because someone gets something out of being with them. But wait … there’s nothing wrong with self-interest! Every relationship, whether business or personal, needs to be mutually beneficial. However, choosing to intentionally … Continue reading
The emotional impact of a breakup can be devastating, with feelings ranging from bewilderment to shock, from hurt to abandonment and anger — even rage. I speak to many people in my office, and sometimes it’s startling to hear the … Continue reading
It’s often hammered into our heads from childhood: “Money is the root of all evil,” or, “Money can’t buy happiness.” If that’s the case, then how come it’s such a major part of our lives? Couples fight over it so … Continue reading
Barely a day goes by when somebody doesn’t ask me if they should blame their parents for various problems that might have arisen in childhood. No matter what the specific issue, my response is always the same: You can hold … Continue reading
I received an interesting email from a Delaware Wave reader who asks, “I’m not sure I can give proper advice to my brother. He’s gay and really loves our parents, who are slightly religious but don’t practice. They’ve made anti-gay … Continue reading
Readers ask me if it’s possible to be a “rush-a-holic,” i.e., to be addicted to rushing or being in a hurry. I believe it is possible, but it’s not the rushing itself that holds the appeal. Some love the thrill … Continue reading
There’s been a lot of talk lately about loyalty. Some use the term correctly, and others simply use it as a tool to get what they want. I equate loyalty with integrity, i.e., consistency among your ideas, your principles and … Continue reading
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Love is not sacrifice. When you love someone, you want them to be happy. When someone loves you, you want them to do something for you because they want to, not … Continue reading