I often see newly retired people in my office, and many of them are stressed over what they’re going to do with themselves. Some tell me that they’re not qualified for the jobs they want, and others aren’t interested in … Continue reading
People often tell me that they don’t feel motivated to do this or that, i.e., they lack a sense of conviction that they have a good reason to do something. Why? Because that reason must be connected in some way … Continue reading
A while ago I wrote about the Rehoboth Beach mugging and beating of a newspaper reporter from Washington, D.C. After the attack, the victim commented publicly that he “hoped someone would put him (the criminal) on a better track.” In … Continue reading
I’d like to add the name of Cesar Millan (National Geographic Channel’s “Dog Whisperer” from 2004 to 2012) to the ranks of the mental health establishment. He never failed to consistently deliver on his assertion, “I rehabilitate dogs. I train … Continue reading
A Wave reader emails that her 22-year-old son graduated from college in May and has returned home to live. She loves having him here, but also realizes that he needs to get on with his life. He can’t find a … Continue reading
Couples ask me about money issues all the time. There are as many ways to deal with finances as there are individuals involved. One way is to maintain separate bank accounts. Another is to combine the money, no matter how … Continue reading
Events over the past few years have demonstrated that how we say things can change our view of them. For example, the other day a parent told me that her son “has anger issues.” Her comment referred to an unexplained, … Continue reading
Just when I start to wonder if all this writing is worth it, I get an email like this: “Dear Dr. Hurd, I strive to live up to the ideals you promote in your column. I like to quote your … Continue reading
People often ask me, “What does a psychotherapist do? What happens in psychotherapy?” The short answer is that we help people identify what’s bothering them about other people in their lives, and help them figure out how to change the … Continue reading
One of the down sides of Alcoholics Anonymous and similar programs is that they have convinced many people that alcoholism is a medical disease. There’s no proof of this, i.e., no empirical evidence of disease verifiable by MRI, blood test … Continue reading
People sometimes get into the habit of making themselves sad by dwelling on “what could have been.” What a profound waste of time! If you spend, say, just 10 minutes a day thinking about the things you wished you had … Continue reading
It’s a rare mental health professional who even talks about the issue of making excuses, much less taking the position that excuses are bad. Other than myself, one of the few who has addressed the issue in writing is psychiatrist … Continue reading