Events over the past few years have demonstrated that how we say things can change our view of them. For example, the other day a parent told me that her son “has anger issues.” Her comment referred to an unexplained, … Continue reading
Just when I start to wonder if all this writing is worth it, I get an email like this: “Dear Dr. Hurd, I strive to live up to the ideals you promote in your column. I like to quote your … Continue reading
People often ask me, “What does a psychotherapist do? What happens in psychotherapy?” The short answer is that we help people identify what’s bothering them about other people in their lives, and help them figure out how to change the … Continue reading
One of the down sides of Alcoholics Anonymous and similar programs is that they have convinced many people that alcoholism is a medical disease. There’s no proof of this, i.e., no empirical evidence of disease verifiable by MRI, blood test … Continue reading
People sometimes get into the habit of making themselves sad by dwelling on “what could have been.” What a profound waste of time! If you spend, say, just 10 minutes a day thinking about the things you wished you had … Continue reading
It’s a rare mental health professional who even talks about the issue of making excuses, much less taking the position that excuses are bad. Other than myself, one of the few who has addressed the issue in writing is psychiatrist … Continue reading
Talking to people about problems related to their childhood has taught me a lot about what kids need and what they got – or didn’t get (emotionally speaking) – from their parents. It’s a challenge to guide a human being … Continue reading
A reader writes that her best friend is unhappy in her marriage. “It really pains me to see her this way. I think she’s sort of looking for someone to tell her to leave him. Is it my place to … Continue reading
With heart-shaped boxes of candy finally in the past (at least for this year), we’re now looking at the summer season just around the corner. The huge variety of restaurants here in the Cape Region can make it hard to … Continue reading
I often meet people who have an obsessive need to keep themselves and their kids busy. Every spare moment must be filled! I wonder if, for the kids, it’s pressure to get into the top schools, or are the parents … Continue reading
In spite of this month’s media bombardment about “Valentine’s Day” this and “Valentine’s Day” that, there are many people out there who are single and maybe even live alone. Not every unattached person longs for companionship, but some out there … Continue reading
It’s often hammered into our heads from childhood: “Money is the root of all evil,” or, “Money can’t buy happiness.” So how come it’s such a major part of our lives? Couples fight over it so much that it’s one … Continue reading