How many times have we heard the adage, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” Some might call it conventional wisdom, but as far as I’m concerned it’s just conventional – at best. To place an emphasis on … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Why Biological and Mental “Illness” Are Not the Same (DE Wave)
I appreciate it when people respond to these columns. It’s nice to know that somebody’s on the other end of this keyboard. In a recent article I reiterated the fact that addictions to drugs, alcohol or whatever have been falsely … Continue reading
Six Steps to Help You Slow Down (DE Coast Press)
Different people do things for different reasons, but I have found that whether one is a resident or just visiting, he or she probably came here because of a desire to take things slower. But there’s not a lot of … Continue reading
How (Not) to Ask Romantic Partners to Change (DE Wave)
Special celebrations like Valentine’s Day can be stressful. Increased interaction with loved ones, coupled with what we feel is expected of us, can sometimes set the stage for tension, particularly between married couples. Partners fight for a variety of reasons, … Continue reading
Pills: The Last Resort (DE Coast Press)
A reader emails that her doctor wrote her a prescription for depression and tells her that it’s a “disease.” But she tells me that her problem is more emotional than medical, and she hates the way the pills make her … Continue reading
It’s Not All About You (DE Wave)
As the summer season approaches, many of us will have increased interaction with clerks in stores and servers in restaurants. Most of us know how to conduct ourselves in public, but I often hear about people who complain about the … Continue reading
The Health Implications of Smiling (DE Coast Press)
According to Punxsutawney Phil’s observations last week, the pleasures of summer are just around the corner. So it might seem kind of silly to write a column about smiling. But after doing what I do for almost 30 years, I … Continue reading
Still in Mourning (DE Wave)
Dear Dr. Hurd, My father died almost 18 years ago. Though I consider myself fully recovered, if something reminds me of him, the feelings of loss come rushing back and I get very sad and cry. Is this healthy? Do … Continue reading
What Does — and Does Not — Create Conceited Kids (DE Coast Press)
One of the biggest mistakes parents make is to tell their kids to not get “a big head” — implying, in so many words, “Don’t think too much of yourself.” Then, years later, they’re surprised when their children lack the … Continue reading
Get Out of Your Own Way! (DE Wave)
After practicing psychotherapy professionally for almost 30 years, one can’t help but notice patterns. Problems may take different forms, but the core issues often fall into just a few categories. Life doesn’t need to be as hard as some people … Continue reading
Why Be So Afraid of Fear? (DE Coast Press)
In my 30+ years talking to people professionally, I have discovered that most people’s fears are not rational, i.e., not based on facts. Most fear results in nothing more than avoidance just for the sake of avoidance. “If I avoid … Continue reading
One More Time: Good Relationships Are Not Work! (DE Wave)
My daily experience repeatedly debunks the myth that good relationships require constant work. Good relationships already work well, because each partner is getting what he or she wants. Anyone in a happy, mutually satisfying relationship will tell you that he … Continue reading