A website visitor writes to complain about a “smart slacker” in her office. I suspect many of us have known a smart slacker; pushing the limits, just as children often do, to see how much he or she can get … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Different Ways of Grieving (DE Wave)
Many of the day-to-day topics in my office have to do with grief and grieving. I received an email from a reader who asks why people sometimes back away from friends who are very sick or who are mourning the … Continue reading
The Benefits and Hazards of First Impressions (DE Coast Press)
John R. Schafer, Ph.D. writes on psychologytoday.com: “Changing negative first impressions is difficult. A person who forms a negative impression of another person will be less inclined to meet that person a second time because that person has been judged … Continue reading
What Confidence Really Means (DE Wave)
It’s a known fact that we humans tend to value something less if we didn’t work for it. If you work hard for success in your job, it means a lot more than if that success were just handed to … Continue reading
The Adversarial Mentality (DE Coast Press)
Two approaches to life characterize the majority of human interactions. One is the adversarial mentality; the other is the realistic mentality. The adversarial mentality rests upon illogical but (to some people) emotionally appealing ideas about how human beings get along … Continue reading
Myths and Truths About OCD (DE Wave)
On online quiz suggests that concern about fire or burglary in your home or catching a disease could be signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Though some attention to detail is perfectly reasonable and even necessary, the quiz also includes … Continue reading
Grown Kids Who Won’t Move Out (DE Coast Press)
A local reader writes, “I’m hoping you can help out with my 27-year-old son. He was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) back in high school, and nothing has been the same since. He’s just an older version of … Continue reading
Gossip: The Hobgoblin of Insecure Minds (DE Wave)
One way or another, many of us engage in gossip to some degree. Even if you never open your mouth, you’re contributing to gossip if you patronize the magazines, websites or TV shows that call themselves “entertainment news.” Nigel Nicholson, … Continue reading
How to Get More Control Without Being Controlling (DE Coast Press)
As the summer season (and increased interaction with family and friends) approaches, one topic that comes up in my office is the issue of control. As people spend more time together, tension and hurt feelings can be caused by somebody … Continue reading
How to (Not) Comfort the Grieving (DE Wave)
While counseling people who have lost someone of great value to them, I’ve learned so much about what they want (and don’t want) to hear in these situations. Most often, people who have experienced a tragic loss simply want you … Continue reading
Bad Moods Are Not the End of the World (DE Coast Press)
Readers “of a certain age” will certainly remember mood rings. Back in the ‘70s everyone seemed to be sporting a ring, a pendant, earrings, bracelets or even lipstick containing thermotropic liquid crystals. Depending on the temperature of your skin, the … Continue reading
Alternatives to Victim-Think (DE Wave)
Rarely does a social occasion go by that somebody doesn’t ask me what a psychotherapist does, and what actually happens behind the closed doors of a therapy session. I resist the urge to mumble something about secret handshakes, decoder rings … Continue reading