I have a friend who, when confronted about something he did wrong, will often end his explanation with, “Well, it’s not an excuse, but it IS a reason.” Though it always gets a chuckle, the expression doesn’t really resolve anything. … Continue reading
“Many a truth is said in jest.” But where does joking end, and emotional abuse begin? One of the most common complaints I hear about people from family members or friends is that, “She pretends that she’s joking, but I … Continue reading
I recently wrote an article saying that alcoholism and substance abuse are not diseases, but problem behaviors. A disease, I wrote, is something that, regardless of the cause, progresses inside your body, and can only be stopped by passive submission … Continue reading
We all know at least one person who complains about pretty much everything. He or she has nothing good to say, and (gleefully) zeros in on other people’s weaknesses — real or exaggerated. I’ve learned from experience that people do … Continue reading
People often ask me if there is one primary rule for communication in a successful relationship. From my experience, I would say that the most overlooked area of communication is the simple act of listening. People often assume that listening … Continue reading
Each of us probably knows at least one person who deals with relationships and responsibilities in an “indirectly direct” way, i.e., failing to get things done — but always ready with an excuse. This type of personality is referred to … Continue reading
We’ve all heard the phrase, “blaming the victim.” Normally, this expression applies when one party blames another — the actual victim — for something he or she did not cause. Things have become so backwards and upside down in our … Continue reading
I hear it every day: “A good marriage requires hard work and compromise.” Or, “The secret of our relationship is … sacrifice.” Blah, blah. Well, I have a different take on the subject. Life as a couple certainly does involve … Continue reading
I’ve always liked the old proverb, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” I always want to follow it up with something like, “So you’d better be ready for whatever might be down that … Continue reading
I received an anxious email from a reader who is seeking “closure” from his girlfriend who recently dumped him. A vague but popular concept, “closure” means seeking a neat, painless ending along with the cool, detached perspective of time. Unfortunately, … Continue reading
With the proliferation of TV shows centered around the paranormal, even skeptics might wonder if belief in the supernatural serves any purpose. Clay Routledge, Ph.D., researcher on the subject and author of “More Than Mortal” thinks it’s about meaning in … Continue reading
A reader writes that her new HOA president is just plain obnoxious. He barks orders like they’re in boot camp, talks WAY too much, and has taken to sending nasty letters for the slightest infraction (or what he sees as … Continue reading