Recently, I posted a Peanuts cartoon on Facebook that said: “Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening … it just stops you from enjoying the good.” The comments I received in reply to the post were even more interesting, … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Blame & Shame Won’t Work (DE Wave)
Blame and shame are not healthy motivators. People sometimes try to motivate you with shaming and blaming, and sadly, these methods are such a part of daily life that most of us take them for granted AND tolerate them far … Continue reading
Beware the Entitlement Mentality (DE Coast Press)
It’s hard to make it through a day without hearing about “entitlement” – especially in a negative context. What does a sense of entitlement really mean? To be entitled to something means to feel or believe that you deserve it. … Continue reading
Solitude is Not the Same as Loneliness (DE Wave)
A Delaware Wave reader asked me the difference between an “irrational” (her words) avoidance of people versus true and healthy solitude. To figure out what’s irrational, you have to back up and define what kinds of interactions with other people … Continue reading
What to Expect in Your Marriage/Relationship (DE Coast Press)
Dear Dr. Hurd, I am a straight male who is attracted to a woman who is bisexual. She is also attracted to me. I want a committed, monogamous relationship, but am uneasy about making such a commitment with her because … Continue reading
Why Are Some People Self-Defeating? (DE Wave)
Dear Dr. Hurd: My brother is 32. He has never held a job a job for longer than a couple of weeks and he, his wife and daughter live with our mother. They scrape by on disability, food stamps and … Continue reading
When Self-Help Doesn’t Help (DE Coast Press)
This may sound strange coming from a therapist, but I’ve come to resent the self-help babble you find in the bookstore or worse yet on daytime TV. My gripe is with the emphasis on “how to”. “How to” feel better. … Continue reading
Figure Out Your Feelings and Then Control Them (DE Wave)
Regulars here at Life’s a Beach! know that I describe myself as a cognitive therapist. Has an impressive scientific ring, don’t you think? But aside from sounding official, just what is it? People ask me, “Cognitive therapy is all well … Continue reading
The Fallacy of Sacrifice (DE Coast Press)
Many people assume that mental health is a matter of either medicine or moral weakness. The medicine side assumes that pills can eradicate mental illness. The moral side assumes that troubling emotions stem from weakness of character. Neither side is … Continue reading
Love vs. Respect (DE Wave)
I received an email from a teenager who tells me that his parents treat him more harshly than they treat his older brother. They are not abusive, but they consistently hold him to a stricter standard. His brother gets Cs … Continue reading
We change only if we want to (DE Coast Press)
All the recent publicity about criminal acts in schools and elsewhere is inevitably accompanied by some of the victims commenting publicly that they “hope someone will put the criminal on a better track.” Unfortunately, research over the years has exposed … Continue reading
What works better: Drugs or Therapy? (DE Wave)
People ask me all the time, “So what’s better? Psychiatric drugs or talk therapy?” Regular visitors to this page know that ideas and thoughts are the cause of emotions and actions, and that psychiatric drugs cannot be the primary tool … Continue reading