We all know people who dwell on the negative aspects of things. They set their sights low, curb their expectations, and hope it will keep bad things from happening to them. That mindset is called “magical thinking.” Examples include rituals … Continue reading
Two approaches to life characterize the majority of human interactions. One is the adversarial mentality; the other is the realistic mentality. The adversarial mentality rests upon illogical but (to some people) emotionally appealing ideas about how human beings get along … Continue reading
It’s easy to lose perspective when you have doubts about your relationship. But sometimes a temporary setback can be mitigated by asking yourself one question: “Does my relationship/marriage make my life better than it otherwise would be?” In other words, … Continue reading
People occasionally confide to me that they don’t believe in psychotherapy. When I ask them to clarify, it often boils down to the idea that therapy requires “uncritical belief.” Though that’s sadly true of many things nowadays, it’s certainly not … Continue reading
With the spectre of the Black Friday Christmas shopping on the horizon, I always receive reader emails saying that they don’t get the idea of gift giving for the sake of gift giving. They all make reference to the midnight … Continue reading
A motivational speaker candidly writes, “I often bring a magic wand to my face-to-face seminars and university classes. The audience usually emits a loud chuckle when I ask for a volunteer and proceed to wave my magic wand over their … Continue reading
The idea of being abandoned, in just about any context, is awful. And interestingly enough, it ends up being a fairly common topic of conversation in my office. Let’s take a closer look: When therapists speak of “abandonment issues”, they’re … Continue reading
By the time you read this, the final notes of this year’s Rehoboth Beach Jazz Festival will have faded away. Why does music have such a magnetic effect on us? From the amateur flailings of semi-sober karaoke all the way … Continue reading
There are all kinds of myths about therapy. Many have been perpetrated by all that feel-good nonsense on daytime TV where unwitting victims have been led to believe that their therapy visit will be an instant cure for whatever ails … Continue reading
After practicing psychotherapy professionally for over 30 years, one can’t help but notice patterns. Problems may take different forms, but the core issues often fall into just a few categories. Life doesn’t need to be as hard as some people … Continue reading
I often encounter people who are clearly at war with food. They announce proudly, “I stay away from pizza”, or “I would never eat fried chicken”, or “No way — no dessert for me … not ever!” Of course, each … Continue reading
I received an email from a reader who tells me that her boyfriend expresses no preferences or opinions regarding pretty much anything. She’s beginning to feel resentful about it, and asks if it’s wrong to resent a love interest who … Continue reading