For many years, “conventional wisdom” (often not wisdom at all) has preached to us that “suffering strengthens character.” We nod wisely and walk away – while quietly wondering how that can possibly be the case. What suffering can actually do … Continue reading
John R. Schafer, Ph.D. writes on psychologytoday.com: “Changing negative first impressions is difficult. A person who forms a negative impression of another person will be less inclined to meet that person a second time because that person has been judged … Continue reading
A longtime fan of my column writes to complain about a “smart slacker” in her office. I suspect many of us have known a smart slacker; pushing the limits, just as children often do, to see how much he or … Continue reading
I often meet people who have an obsessive need to keep their kids busy. Every spare moment must be filled! I wonder if it’s pressure to get into the top schools, or are the parents worried that they’ll become delinquents? … Continue reading
A website fan sent me an interesting email. He had asked his family doctor what she would do if she suddenly had millions of dollars. Would she still work? Would she stop working? The doctor said she would certainly keep … Continue reading
I often encounter couples who, even after many years of marriage, maintain separate finances and bank accounts. What makes certain couples reach the decision to handle money in this way? It all depends on the individuals. Some people like their … Continue reading
My day-to-day experience repeatedly debunks the myth that good relationships require constant work. Good relationships already work well, because each partner is getting what he or she wants. Anyone in a happy, mutually satisfying relationship will tell you that there’s … Continue reading
One of the biggest problems in many personal or business relationships is the assumption that there’s a conflict of interest – when in fact there isn’t. When personal relationships degenerate into unhappiness, you’ll almost always find the partners have adopted … Continue reading
We all know somebody who says, “He pushes my buttons.” Or “She knows how to manipulate me.” But what do these complaints actually mean? Steven Stosny, Ph.D. at psychologytoday.com states that “Emotions move us.” Indeed, the Latin root of the … Continue reading
I appreciate it when people respond to these columns. It’s nice to know that somebody’s on the other end of this keyboard. In a recent article I reiterated the fact that addiction to drugs, alcohol or whatever has been falsely … Continue reading
I received an email from a regular reader of this column. It goes like this: “Dear Dr. Hurd. I’m at a crossroads. I’ve fallen in love with my best friend whom I have known for years. The catch? She’s married … Continue reading
I think that’s a question worth asking. We see promises broken all the time in politics, but people also encounter it in everyday life. My experience suggests that, at the root, promise-breaking points to a lack of character. What gives … Continue reading