Barely a day goes by that I don’t receive notes from readers asking how to discuss emotional issues rationally; politics in particular. One of the first tools I suggest it to ask questions. Don’t ask hostile questions; just honest, thoughtfully … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
The Value and Limits of Persistence
A Delaware Coast Press reader emails that her father used to tell her to “not be a quitter.” But when she realizes she’s fighting a losing battle, she feels guilty just “letting it go.” She asks at what point being … Continue reading
Take a Deep Breath and THINK
When clients ask me about relaxation exercises, I often suggest deep breathing. The influx of oxygen can help relieve stress, and it’s a lot less risky and expensive than medication. But, like medication, oxygen is only a temporary fix. In … Continue reading
Does Worrying Work?
Are you a “worry wart?” If so, then read on. If not, then don’t worry about it — unless you’re worried that you might miss something good…. Life can be difficult, and for the most part, worrying seems to be … Continue reading
The Key to Romance is Respect: Who Knew?!
A few weeks ago we celebrated Valentine’s Day. For some, the day is intertwined with warm feelings of love and romance. But in life – Valentine’s or not – it’s important to remember that to genuinely love someone, that person … Continue reading
Happy Parents Make for Healthy Kids
Couples therapy can be stressful for everyone involved. One of the questions that parents often ask me is whether it’s right or wrong to stay together solely for the sake of the children. Their premise is that their primary obligation … Continue reading
We Create the Relationships Around Us
Dear Dr. Hurd, My mother is 91, lives alone, doesn’t drive, and is in pretty good health. Since she moved here, she has become very manipulative. She exaggerates her hearing and vision problems, and invents situations to get what she … Continue reading
Do Friendships Last Forever? Should They?
Many years ago I spoke to a woman who was thoroughly fed up with a friend of hers. She just didn’t enjoy being with him any longer. Though she had already decided to back away from him altogether, she still … Continue reading
Could Your ‘Inner Voice’ Sometimes Be Wrong?
People sometimes tell me that daytime “self-help” shows leave them with the impression that their parents are to blame for many of their problems. I suspect it’s a lot more complicated than that, and, by the way, the vapid banality … Continue reading
Beware of Toxic People! They’re Bad for your Health
One of the subjects most often brought up in my office is how to deal with toxic, psychologically damaging relationships. Kristen Fuller, M.D., writes: “I myself had all the tools to avoid a toxic relationship, but I entered into an … Continue reading
Pardon the interruption, but….
Friends and clients often tell me that one of the most annoying things in their lives is when people interrupt them. It got me to thinking; is it just rudeness? Or is it something more? Something can indeed be rude, … Continue reading
Watch Out for Emotional Manipulation
I often warn my clients about believing arbitrary assertions. Sometimes it can be convenient to do so, but acting on something for which there are no facts to back it up can be psychologically unhealthy. Here’s an example excerpted from … Continue reading