For many years, “conventional wisdom” (often not wisdom at all) has preached to us that suffering strengthens character. We nod wisely and walk away – while quietly wondering how that can possibly be the case. What suffering can actually do … Continue reading
In my 35+ years talking to people professionally, I have discovered that most people’s fears are not rational, i.e., not based on facts. Most fear results in nothing more than avoidance just for the sake of avoidance. “If I avoid … Continue reading
One of the most common questions I encounter in my office end up being about relationships. Couples often tell me that they don’t feel “connected,” or that their relationship failed because they were not “connected.” When I ask them what … Continue reading
When facing an important decision about relationships and other personal issues, it’s often best to consider your own advice first. After all, who’s better suited to know what’s right for you than … you? Recently, I spoke with a friend … Continue reading
Barely a day goes by without reading about some high-profile celebrity in trouble. Examples include the infamous Harvey Weinstein, as well as House of Cards’ star, Kevin Spacey. Such celebrities faced charges of sexual wrongdoing, and were given a pause … Continue reading
I often warn my clients about believing arbitrary assertions; in other words, acting on something for which there are no facts to back it up. This wholesale acceptance of whatever anyone tells you is terribly unhealthy from a psychological point … Continue reading
Avoiding confrontation at any cost is not the way to run a relationship. People tell me all the time about how their spouse/partner does things that bother them. I invariably ask: “Why are you telling me and not him (her)?” … Continue reading
Writing at Psychology Today, psychotherapist Amy Morin offers “10 Reasons American Teens Are More Anxious Than Ever”. But let’s take a closer look: Do we actually know teens are more anxious than ever? And more anxious compared to when? Like … Continue reading
Memory problems are frustrating. People joke about “senior moments” while others worry about the possibility of dementia. Dementia is actually a disease of the brain, but normal memory ultimately has more to do with how you manage (or don’t manage) … Continue reading
People often tell me that they feel like they’re never going to get caught up. They’re always worrying about how (and when) they’re going to achieve all the goals they’ve set for themselves. When it comes to goal setting, it … Continue reading
Pop psychology loves to tout psychotherapy as “dealing with the past.” I suspect that at least part of that comes from the feel-good prattle that pervades the vast wasteland of daytime TV, including shows like Oprah and Ellen. But when … Continue reading
People often ask me to define cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in simple terms. A great example of CBT in action comes from an unlikely source: Chef Robert Irvine’s Food Network series, Restaurant Impossible. FoodTV.com says that, “Turning around a failing … Continue reading