Events over the past few years have demonstrated that how we say things can change our view of them. For example, a parent recently told me that her son “has anger issues.” Her comment referred to an unexplained, and frankly … Continue reading
We’ve all heard the phrase, “blaming the victim.” Normally, this expression applies when one party blames another — the actual victim — for something he or she did not cause. Things have become so backwards in our crazy culture that … Continue reading
In an article on children, philosopher Stephen Hicks makes an interesting case against homework for school-aged kids. “Everyone says that they want children to grow up able to live independent lives and pursue their chosen careers passionately. But that aspiration … Continue reading
Avoiding confrontation at any cost is not the way to run a relationship. People tell me all the time about how their spouse/partner does things that bother them. I invariably ask: “Why are you telling me and not him (her)?” … Continue reading
Many people are under the impression that they can avoid trouble in their relationships by not arguing. They mistakenly assume that the absence of fighting – or any disagreement – is an indication that the relationship is healthy. But that … Continue reading
It’s a rare day when a client doesn’t ask me about kids and responsibility about money. I’m in the interesting position of having talked to thousands of people about their childhoods while simultaneously observing how they now live their adult … Continue reading
For many years, “conventional wisdom” (often not wisdom at all) has preached to us that suffering strengthens character. We nod wisely and walk away – while quietly wondering how that can possibly be the case. What suffering can actually do … Continue reading
In my 35+ years talking to people professionally, I have discovered that most people’s fears are not rational, i.e., not based on facts. Most fear results in nothing more than avoidance just for the sake of avoidance. “If I avoid … Continue reading
One of the most common questions I encounter in my office end up being about relationships. Couples often tell me that they don’t feel “connected,” or that their relationship failed because they were not “connected.” When I ask them what … Continue reading
When facing an important decision about relationships and other personal issues, it’s often best to consider your own advice first. After all, who’s better suited to know what’s right for you than … you? Recently, I spoke with a friend … Continue reading
Barely a day goes by without reading about some high-profile celebrity in trouble. Examples include the infamous Harvey Weinstein, as well as House of Cards’ star, Kevin Spacey. Such celebrities faced charges of sexual wrongdoing, and were given a pause … Continue reading
I often warn my clients about believing arbitrary assertions; in other words, acting on something for which there are no facts to back it up. This wholesale acceptance of whatever anyone tells you is terribly unhealthy from a psychological point … Continue reading