I’m always amused when people say, “The truth hurts.” But think about it: Which hurts more: Evading or denying what is real, or confronting reality head on? Abusers of drugs and alcohol are evaders of reality. Are they really happier … Continue reading
Several readers asked me to clarify the difference between short-term compromise and all-out self-sacrifice when it comes to relationships. Over the last 16 or so years, more than one Life’s a Beach! column has emphasized that the latter should never … Continue reading
A reader emails about a sticky situation: She and her husband are empty nesters, both with professional careers. Her career in the arts is unstable by nature, and the loss of that job is imminent. Her husband is happy in … Continue reading
People sometimes ask me if anything annoys me about my job. I love what I do. But if anything gets to me, it’s when a client pays me good money for advice, and then doesn’t take it – returning again … Continue reading
The subject of post-traumatic stress disorder comes up quite often in my office. Though predominately a very real issue for military personnel returning from active duty, I’m often asked if some might be using the label unfairly to get additional … Continue reading
A recent email from a fan of this column goes like this: “Dear Dr. Hurd. I’m at a crossroads. I’ve fallen in love with my best friend. The catch? She’s married with kids and dedicated to her family. I’m not … Continue reading
The recent “stay-at-home” trend has generated some interesting comments in my office. Some couples are finding that all this togetherness isn’t quite as easy as they thought it might be. Many seek advice about this, but the truth is that … Continue reading
So many people say to me, “Why is it that what I can’t have, always seems more appealing than what I can have?” The answer is easy: Wanting what you can’t have is the easy way out. In other words, … Continue reading
A popular misconception about psychotherapy is that it’s all about one’s past. This probably stems from the clichéd image of the bearded Freudian psychoanalyst quietly dozing in his leather chair, further bolstered by the circus parade of insipid “self-help” authors … Continue reading
Clients often ask me if the children (or adults) in their lives are just looking for attention when they “act up” or become emotionally distraught. This is often true, but the goal isn’t attention as much as what I call … Continue reading
People often ask me how they can find an effective therapist in their area. Of course this gives me a great opportunity to promote my book, “Bad Therapy, Good Therapy (And How to Tell the Difference).” Short of ending this … Continue reading
A reader asks: “Trust your gut. What the heck does that even mean? People seem to be saying this more and more. Does my gut have a brain?” Though the irony isn’t lost on me, what we call “our gut” … Continue reading