Many people are under the impression that they can avoid trouble in their relationships by not arguing. They mistakenly assume that the absence of fighting – or any disagreement – is an indication that the relationship is healthy. But that … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
How Much Anxiety is Too Much?
Contrary to what the drug companies would have you think, anxiety can sometimes be useful and necessary. Like, for example, when that anxiety triggers a call to sensible action. Let’s say you feel anxious at the sight of an oncoming … Continue reading
Lying Just Isn’t Worth the Work
Friends who own restaurants are telling me more and more about potential employees who present glowing resumes, then don’t come close to living up to what they claimed they knew. The next thing you know they’re applying for unemployment. I … Continue reading
Tips for Attracting a Truly Compatible Partner
People regularly ask me what factors or behaviors can prevent a person from finding a loving relationship. The answer boils down to a combination of reasons, the first of which is simply not searching persistently enough. One must always be … Continue reading
YOU (Only You) are in the Driver’s Seat of Your Life
Barely a day goes by that we don’t hear some “expert” refer to alcohol and drug problems as medical diseases. Though some in my field still maintain those false beliefs, many more are finally waking up to the fact that … Continue reading
If Someone calls you “Crazy,” be Sure to Consider the Source
We hear the word “crazy” being thrown around just about every day. “He’s crazy to say that!” Or, “She must be crazy to believe that!” In the great majority of cases when people call another person crazy they don’t really … Continue reading
Serenity: With a Little Effort, You can Make it Happen
It’s a rare moment when we don’t experience an emotion. But is it based in fact, or is it just a reaction (right or wrong) to some stimulus around us? When you experience an emotion, it’s important to identify it … Continue reading
Shocker: Sacrifice Doesn’t Mix With Love
Regular readers of this column know that I have written over and over that love is not sacrifice. When you love someone, you want them to be happy. When someone loves you, you want them to do something for you … Continue reading
Sometimes Affirmations AREN’T the Answer
From time to time clients will tell me that they like to read peppy little affirmations first thing in the morning. But interestingly enough, some clients tell me that these fluffy, hyperbolic one-size-fits-all sentences feel like nothing more than false … Continue reading
How to Judge Yourself
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” Wise words, and it works both ways! If you underestimate your potential, or if you ignore … Continue reading
Don’t Encourage Abusers with Silence
A website visitor writes, “My husband and I (we have no children) have been happy for the last four years. But now, he has suddenly become Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He’s fine one minute, then in response to the … Continue reading
Keep it Real by Being Honest
One of the biggest impediments to human associations is the unwillingness to say what you think and ask for what you want. Note the word “ask”; no one is entitled to anything from another person simply because he or she … Continue reading