People often tell me that they don’t feel motivated to do something because they lack the conviction that they have a good reason to do it. In other words, that reason must be connected to one’s self-interest. If your child … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
The # 1 Mistake People Make in Love: Control is Not Love
A visitor to my website writes, “My wife of two years goes out of her way to control me. Everything from constant phone calls asking where I am, to ordering me to go to sleep when it suits her, or … Continue reading
Teens and Self-Respect
When it comes to teenagers, one of the subjects that comes up quite often in my office is interpersonal relationships. In a study presented at a meeting of the American Public Health Association, researchers at the University of Kentucky studied … Continue reading
The Daily Heartbreak of Alzheimer’s
One of the subjects that comes up in my office is the ongoing sadness of children caring for their parents who are suffering from Alzheimer’s. One of my client’s comments went like this: “I’m the primary caretaker for my aging … Continue reading
Entitlement May FEEL Good, But It’s Not Good for You
Over the years, I’ve seen many human relationships that are not everything they could be. Marriages routinely end in chronic dissatisfaction and eventually divorce. More and more I see people treating one another poorly. I suspect that one reason for … Continue reading
The Never-Ending Search for (Online) Validation
During these stressful times, Facebook and other social media have become all-too-accessible pastimes. It’s easy to get caught up in the breathless nonsense, myth and unsubstantiated proclamations that seems to dominate Facebook – especially now. In a recent article and … Continue reading
False Entitlement: It’s Like a Drug
Over the years, I’ve seen many human relationships that are not everything they could be. Marriages routinely end in chronic dissatisfaction and eventually divorce. More and more I see people treating one another poorly. I suspect that one reason for … Continue reading
The Benefits and Hazards (Psychologically) of Social Media
During these stressful times, Facebook and other social media have become all-too-accessible pastimes. It’s easy to get caught up in the breathless nonsense, myth and unsubstantiated proclamations that seems to dominate Facebook – especially now. In a recent article and … Continue reading
Regrets are a Waste of Time
Barely a week goes by when a client doesn’t bring up something he or she regrets. Often it’s in the form of, “I wish I had that situation to do over again. I’d do it differently.” But, other than being … Continue reading
Reality is GOOD for You!
I’m always amused when people say, “The truth hurts.” But think about it: Which hurts more: Evading or denying what is real, or confronting reality head on? Abusers of drugs and alcohol are evaders of reality. Are they really happier … Continue reading
Self-Sacrifice Does not a Marriage Make
Several readers asked me to clarify the difference between short-term compromise and all-out self-sacrifice when it comes to relationships. Over the last 16 or so years, more than one Life’s a Beach! column has emphasized that the latter should never … Continue reading
Negotiate Out of Love – Not Out of Duty
A reader emails about a sticky situation: She and her husband are empty nesters, both with professional careers. Her career in the arts is unstable by nature, and the loss of that job is imminent. Her husband is happy in … Continue reading