A website visitor writes, “My husband and I (we have no children) have been happy for the last four years. But now, he has suddenly become Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He’s fine one minute, then in response to the … Continue reading
I see many examples of spouses and partners who endure consistent and systematic meanness from their significant others. This pattern is more prevalent than you might think, and the clinical term for it is emotional abuse. There are a number … Continue reading
People often ask me, “What does a psychotherapist do? What happens in psychotherapy? The short answer is that a skilled therapist can help people identify what bothers them about other people in their lives, and then help them figure out … Continue reading
Clients often ask me if the children (or adults) in their lives are just looking for attention when they “act up” or become emotionally distraught. This is often true, but the goal isn’t attention as much as what I call … Continue reading
A lot of people like to read peppy little affirmations first thing in the morning. But some clients tell me that fluffy, hyperbolic one-size-fits-all platitudes feel like nothing more than false hype. That annoyance can make it difficult to absorb … Continue reading
Several readers asked me to clarify the difference between short-term compromise and all-out self-sacrifice when it comes to relationships. Over the last 18 or so years, more than one Life’s a Beach! column has emphasized that the latter should never … Continue reading
I’ve always liked the saying, “If it were easy, everybody would be doing it.” Sadly, the natural response to that is often, “Well, it must be nice to have… [whatever they resent your having earned].” A successful person doesn’t just … Continue reading
Not every client I see presents with a major crisis. Sometimes a person just needs someone to talk to. But if it’s bothering them, then my job is to try to help them as much as I can. One recent … Continue reading
A reader of this column emails that her relative, a young woman of 19, has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She asks if it is a valid diagnostic label or just another excuse to justify bad behavior. Psychiatrists define bipolar … Continue reading
It’s sad but true, and it happens all the time: A couple gets divorced. There are no kids, and it’s not about money. The problem is that their friends take sides: They shun one of the partners with no explanation. … Continue reading
A reader emails, “My family has been encouraging my brother to seek psychotherapy for problems we feel that he has, and his doctor agrees with us. My brother is resistant to that, and we can’t understand why he doesn’t see … Continue reading
A reader emails, “I have friends who are in relationships and have no qualms about cheating. If I even had a partner, I’d be respectful of him and would never lie. It just doesn’t seem right that they get to … Continue reading