How often have you heard somebody say, ‘He’s not a bad person, but I still don’t like him’? Most often, the missing element is respect. To genuinely like or love someone, they must first earn your respect. Like beach erosion, … Continue reading →

We read every day about notorious and documented failures of drug and alcohol rehab, made even more public by Hollywood’s perpetually neurotic glitterati. Is it all a scam? Well, in fact, some people do successfully untangle themselves from drug and/or … Continue reading →

A regular reader of this column asked me why I considered a killer to be ‘incapable of benefiting’ from psychotherapeutic help. She was referring to my 2007 article published shortly after the Virginia Tech shooting. She wondered why I, as … Continue reading →

It’s no secret that marital counseling and couples therapy often fail. Even if the therapist is a pretty good one, two factors usually stand in the way of success: First, the partners usually wait until at least one or both … Continue reading →

After this season of celebration and self-indulgence, it seems natural to swing the pendulum to the other side and talk about anorexia (a pathological refusal to eat), its causes and cures. According to Dr. Walter Kaye, professor of psychiatry at … Continue reading →

In the comic strip ‘Peanuts,’ Lucy van Pelt referred to this time of year as ‘post-Christmas letdown,’ when you mourn for the gifts you wanted but didn’t get. It’s also during this season when I get questions from parents asking … Continue reading →

I really appreciate it when people respond to these columns. It’s nice to know that somebody’s on the other end of this keyboard. A few weeks ago I reiterated the fact that addictions to drugs, alcohol or whatever have been … Continue reading →

Around the holidays, people often ask me about greed and why the season is so ‘materialistic.’ Well, I don’t believe there’s such a thing as ‘materialism.’ All of us need and want material things. It’s only a matter of degree. … Continue reading →

I often get questions about personal growth and how it changes relationships with friends, romantic partners and family. When people improve themselves in ways that increase their self-esteem and confidence, their relationships will surely change. Every person plays a role … Continue reading →

As the holidays approach, most of us will have increased interaction with clerks in stores and servers in restaurants. Most of us know how to conduct themselves in these situations, but I often hear about people who complain about the … Continue reading →

Dear Dr. Hurd, I’m at a crossroads. I’ve fallen in love with my best friend whom I have known for years. The catch? She’s married with kids and dedicated to her family. I’m not entirely sure of the depth of … Continue reading →

A regular reader emails that she’s going through a difficult divorce. It’s not about money, and there are no kids to worry about. The problem is with her friends. It seems that they’re shunning either her or her former husband … Continue reading →