Q: You wrote that guilt and shame are not good motivators. But aren’t they useful if you have, in fact, done something wrong? A: If somebody did something deliberately to harm you, then what kind of person do you think … Continue reading
Shame and guilt are never good motivators. When the person is guilty of something bad, he must have lacked a conscience, so it’s too late for motivation by shame and guilt. If a person is guilty of nothing wrong, then … Continue reading
A true leader doesn’t even think of himself as a leader. Yes, he leads by example, but he’s not trying to lead. He’s simply leading the best life he knows how to lead, maximizing his competence and with full integrity. … Continue reading
People know what they’re doing, even when it’s irrational and stupid. Often, people look back on their own actions and say, “I can’t believe I said/did that.” This proves they know that they were doing it. Maybe they didn’t know … Continue reading
Q: Dear Dr. Hurd, I have been reading your columns for awhile now. I understand that you oppose the idea that morality is supernatural, derived from God, or in any way religious. What you do seem to be saying is … Continue reading
A moral person is not someone who follows arbitrary rules or commands. A moral person is not someone who answers to “God.” A moral person is actually someone who “answers” to objective reality, something ascertained and understood through the honest … Continue reading
Always listen to what people DO, not to what they say. If the two are in sync, then you’re fine. If the two conflict, then you’ll know what the truth really is.
Success does not primarily consist of figuring out what others want. Success doesn’t come from a compulsion to please others. Success comes from a higher than usual desire to please oneself — one’s own highest standards. In the process of … Continue reading
All I ask from others is their own self-interest. I want them to be rational and self-interested when they drive on the highway, so they don’t hurt me or another. I want them to pay their bills and be productive, … Continue reading
When somebody — a celebrity, or someone you know — says, “I’m sorry for what I did. It was totally wrong. But I was emotionally upset at the time,” they’re in essence telling you: “I cannot control my emotions, and … Continue reading
Arrogance does not refer to self-esteem. Arrogance is a mental and emotional attitude best expressed by the statement, “I’m incapable of error or wrongdoing. If I do, think or say something, it’s automatically right.” Isn’t this an indication of “too … Continue reading
An older person recently told me: “America turned out so rotten. It wasn’t always this way, you know.” I don’t doubt this is true. However, we have to understand how America became so rotten. The spectacle of a “President Obama” … Continue reading