No parent may say to the child, once grown, in effect: ‘I sacrificed for you; therefore you owe me.’ A sacrifice means giving up a greater good for a lesser good. If your mother or father means to imply this, … Continue reading →

You can best predict a person’s behavior by behavior displayed in the past. Keep the focus on behavior — not words. This is because very few people have strong integrity. By “strong integrity” I mean when a person’s words and … Continue reading →

If you’re not sure how to handle a situation with another person, think of how you would want another to handle it with you. If you’re wondering, “What’s the right way to do this?” simply think of how you’d appreciate … Continue reading →

Being the victim means focusing on what others have done to you. Being a hero means focusing on what YOU can do to better your life, regardless of the circumstances beyond your control. Victims focus on the external. Heroes focus … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd, I hate being told that I HAVE to do something. Is this an indication of immaturity, as some in my life have told me? A: No. Hating to be told what to do is an indication of … Continue reading →

Are things relative — or objective? My answer: Both. Here’s why. Imagine you and I are in a room together. We’re both looking at a lamp in the corner. I’m viewing it from the left corner, and you’re viewing it … Continue reading →

Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Do this with everyday things no less than big, dramatic and exceptional ones. By saying what you mean, you show respect for your mind. By meaning what you say, you show … Continue reading →

As respect for a friend, spouse or business associate erodes, you’re increasingly left with only regard. Regard can keep it going for a time, but it’s no substitute for respect. Just as respect occurs for reasons, diminished respect occurs for … Continue reading →

An explanation tells you the cause of something. An excuse tells you why a person had no other choice except to act as he or she did. For example: “I treated you badly because I was drunk.” Being drunk explains … Continue reading →

The worst kind of people are the ones who claim “there is no right or wrong”, in theory — while in practice, treat their word as right and expect you to do the same. It goes beyond hypocrisy. It’s intimidation … Continue reading →

Being on time isn’t for the sake of the other person. It’s a reflection of your own self-respect, and of your own mental and physical organization. You’ll find that people who are habitually late, and who don’t care about it, … Continue reading →