…ceptual context. Tastes are sensory reactions, while emotions such as joy, regret, hostility, anger, happiness and serenity are reflections of highly conceptual ideas people hold about themselves, life, reality and others. I am all for discovering and learning as much about the brain and the body as possible. Knowledge is power. The more we know about the brain, the better able people can be to help themselves with complications involving their mi… Continue reading
…als view their activity as a career and don’t typically feel remorse; only regret if they’re apprehended or the crime is bungled. Non-criminals would never consider the initiation of force or fraud, but to a criminal it’s all in a day’s work. Nobody, criminal or not, will change against his or her own will. Consider the analogy of smoking. People who successfully quit smoking usually know that they should stop, and even want to. But only at a cert… Continue reading
…le day, you put little or no effort into that idea. You develop a sense of regret, remorse and hopelessness over this fact. Then you read an article on how negative thinking impairs a person. You conclude, “Oh, that’s it. It’s my negative thinking that’s undercutting me.” Well, your ideas of hopelessness or despair are not helpful. They’re also not consistent with an objectively observable, rational attitude that human beings are capable of many t… Continue reading
…criminal personality does not usually feel remorse for what he does, only regret if he gets caught or the crime is somehow botched. Non-criminals would obviously never consider the initiation of force or fraud that to criminals are just another day’s “work.” But when it comes to changing, it’s true of everybody: Nobody will change against his or her own will. I sometimes think of the analogy of smoking. People who successfully quit smoking usuall… Continue reading
…sn’t productive, but I still have a problem with shame. I tend to dwell on regrets over my mistakes. How can I stop this? A: People make mistakes and the important thing is that if it’s really a mistake, learn from it, don’t do it again, and move on. People make huge mistakes sometimes and they still regenerate themselves and start anew. Most mistakes aren’t huge. Even if you make a huge mistake, how will sitting around and feeling regret and sham… Continue reading
As millions ponder their regret over voting into office “President Obama,” it’s important to think of why he got there. Think back to the fall of 2008, when he was elected. A majority of Independents, who just as often vote Republican as Democrat, and who probably vote Republican for President more than Democrat, reached the conclusion, “The rich have too much money. They took from everyone and that’s what caused the financial disaster.” The hapl… Continue reading
…much want to do such-and-such. But it might not be right and I might later regret it. I’m going to think about this first. I’m going to weigh the pros and cons and evaluate whether my emotions are valid, partially valid, or maybe even groundless.’ This is what people who engage in flawed reasoning (and then end up ‘apologizing’ all over themselves) don’t do. Reason should always trump feelings. This doesn’t mean feelings are bad, or that reason is… Continue reading
…much want to do such-and-such. But it might not be right and I might later regret it. I’m going to think about this first. I’m going to weigh the pros and cons of the action I want to take, and I’m going to evaluate whether my emotions are completely valid, or only partially valid — or even groundless.” This is what people who “apologize” for wrongdoing don’t get. The premise of controlling and managing your emotions is that reason trumps feelings… Continue reading
…like the thing to do. For example, I talk to people sometimes who say they regret becoming parents (even though they love their kids). I ask: ‘Why did you become a parent?’ and the answer is usually: ‘It’s just what you do.’ This is NOT the way to approach anything in life–parenting, career, or anything else. You might want to do a goal inventory. You might want to take a look at every goal you’re pursing right now, big and small, and identify whe… Continue reading
…to actualize, then at least you’ll know. Always wondering, or experiencing regret, are worse than disappointment. Life coaching can help with this. You hire somebody to “answer to,” not because this person can make you do anything, but because engaging in this process makes it harder to pretend you’re not avoiding action on your dreams. Taking your dreams seriously rests on the idea of taking your life seriously. To the dreamer-actor, life matters… Continue reading
…is to stay here…while still thinking…. Continue reading
…mething—especially in anger or haste—that might feel good, but that you’ll regret later. For some, the ease of texting becomes an excuse for blurting out whatever comes into their mind without having to deal with the immediate consequences of someone being right there in the room with them. It’s not just the cell phones. Speaking on impulse is a human error, not a technological one. I don’t think people become ‘addicted’ to objects so much as addi… Continue reading