Search Results for: regret

No Regrets: A great prescription for good mental health

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…nd all the other things for which people swallow Prozac and Paxil once the regret-filled mindset takes over. Think of regret as the psychological equivalent of a tightrope walker, balancing high off the ground and letting himself—indeed, making himself—look down, to deliberately disturb his own concentration. If a tightrope walker did this, we’d say, ‘How foolish and dangerous!’ But it’s interesting how so many people do the same thing mentally by… Continue reading →

Read This Before You Die

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…, pictured to the left] a nurse who works with dying patients learned five regrets people usually have on their deathbeds: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself.” Amen. Life is about self-responsibility and self-fulfillment. You ignore one at the expense of the other. In my experience, most people are trying to be self-responsible while feeling guilty for self-fulfillment. “That’s selfish, and it can’t be good.” But if you’re s… Continue reading →

What Causes Sexuality, Dr. Carson?

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…t pretend to know how every individual came to their sexual orientation. I regret that my words to express that concept were hurtful and divisive. For that I apologize unreservedly to all that were offended.” Well, then why did you speak up about it in the first place, Dr. Carson? Maybe instead of using political forums to probe the causes of homosexuality, we ought to use political (and scientific) forums to probe the causes of what leads otherwi… Continue reading →

The Benefits of Apologizing (DE Wave)

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…s just that. When you apologize, you’re saying: “I know I was wrong, and I regret it.” Encouraging others (or ourselves) to be meek and humble is no way to achieve justice. What matters is whether you’re right or wrong, according to the facts. The goal is not to be — or to be — sorry. The goal is to acknowledge the truth. An apology is a healthy, self-interested act, and the greatest effect is on the person apologizing. Psychotherapist and author… Continue reading →

Different Ways of Grieving (DE Wave)

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…leaving them alone. You’re also going to end up with a lot of unnecessary regret. Several years ago a friend of mine was dealing with the terminal illness of her husband. She told their friends, “Call him and talk to him. Don’t worry about what to say. It will allow him to think about something other than doctors and hospitals. He wants to know that something else is going on in the world other than his illness.” How insightful! Don’t assume the… Continue reading →

Leave those Regrets at Home (DE Wave)

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…achieve the other things for which people gulp Prozac and Paxil after the regret-filled mindset takes over. Think of regret as the psychological equivalent of a tightrope walker, high off the ground, letting himself — indeed, making himself — look down in order to deliberately disturb his concentration. It’s interesting how so many people do the same thing mentally by stirring up all the pointless emotions triggered by their regrets. When you foc… Continue reading →

Is Matt Lauer Really Sorry?

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…“Today” co-hosts, Lauer said, “There are no words to express my sorrow and regret for the pain I have caused others by words and actions. To the people I have hurt I am truly sorry. “As I am writing this I realize the depth of the damage and disappointment I have left behind at home and at NBC. Some of what is being said about me is untrue or mischaracterized, but there is enough truth in these stories to make me feel embarrassed and ashamed. I re… Continue reading →

The Use and Abuse of Apologies (DE Coast Press)

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…s just that. When you apologize, you’re saying: “I know I was wrong, and I regret it.” Encouraging others (or ourselves) to be meek and humble is no way to achieve justice. What matters is whether the facts prove you right or wrong. The goal is not to just be sorry. The goal is to acknowledge the truth. An apology is a healthy, self-interested act, and the greatest effect is on the person apologizing. Psychotherapist and author Beverly Engel, writ… Continue reading →

Honor Yourself with an Apology

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…s just that. When you apologize, you’re saying: “I know I was wrong, and I regret it.” Encouraging others (or ourselves) to be meek and humble is no way to achieve justice. What matters is whether the facts prove you right or wrong. The goal is not to just be sorry. The goal is to acknowledge the truth. An apology is a healthy, self-interested act, and the greatest effect is on the person apologizing. Psychotherapist and author Beverly Engel, writ… Continue reading →

Confronting the Inevitability of Death

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…leaving them alone. You’re also going to end up with a lot of unnecessary regret. Several years ago a friend of mine was dealing with the terminal illness of her husband. She told their friends, “Call him and talk to him. Don’t worry about what to say. It will allow him to think about something other than doctors and hospitals. He wants to know that something else is going on in the world other than his illness.” How insightful! Don’t assume the… Continue reading →

The Pain of “Marriage Remorse”

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…birthday at a special restaurant. The instant you order the meal, you feel regret. You might or might not admit it to anyone, but it’s still what you feel. The same kind of ‘buyer’s remorse’ applies when people make more significant commitments, such as a new car or a new house. I hear this from people all the time, and nearly everyone can relate. ‘Why did I get a red car instead of black?’ Or, ‘Why didn’t I move into Jerry’s neighborhood instead… Continue reading →

Passive Anger is the Worst Kind (DE Wave)

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…omewhere, and then never shows up, or gets there an hour late. He shows no regret. Situations such as these characterize passive-aggressive behavior. The syndrome is defined by the National Institutes of Health as ”a chronic condition in which a person seems to passively comply with the desires and needs of others, but actually passively resists them, becoming increasingly hostile and angry.’ The definition gets even more familiar: ‘People with th… Continue reading →