How many times have we heard the adage, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” Some might call it conventional wisdom, but as far as I’m concerned it’s just conventional – at best. To place an emphasis on … Continue reading
I appreciate it when people respond to these columns. It’s nice to know that somebody’s on the other end of this keyboard. In a recent article I reiterated the fact that addictions to drugs, alcohol or whatever have been falsely … Continue reading
Different people do things for different reasons, but I have found that whether one is a resident or just visiting, he or she probably came here because of a desire to take things slower. But there’s not a lot of … Continue reading
Special celebrations like Valentine’s Day can be stressful. Increased interaction with loved ones, coupled with what we feel is expected of us, can sometimes set the stage for tension, particularly between married couples. Partners fight for a variety of reasons, … Continue reading
A reader emails that her doctor wrote her a prescription for depression and tells her that it’s a “disease.” But she tells me that her problem is more emotional than medical, and she hates the way the pills make her … Continue reading
As the summer season approaches, many of us will have increased interaction with clerks in stores and servers in restaurants. Most of us know how to conduct ourselves in public, but I often hear about people who complain about the … Continue reading
According to Punxsutawney Phil’s observations last week, the pleasures of summer are just around the corner. So it might seem kind of silly to write a column about smiling. But after doing what I do for almost 30 years, I … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, My father died almost 18 years ago. Though I consider myself fully recovered, if something reminds me of him, the feelings of loss come rushing back and I get very sad and cry. Is this healthy? Do … Continue reading
One of the biggest mistakes parents make is to tell their kids to not get “a big head” — implying, in so many words, “Don’t think too much of yourself.” Then, years later, they’re surprised when their children lack the … Continue reading
After practicing psychotherapy professionally for almost 30 years, one can’t help but notice patterns. Problems may take different forms, but the core issues often fall into just a few categories. Life doesn’t need to be as hard as some people … Continue reading
In my 30+ years talking to people professionally, I have discovered that most people’s fears are not rational, i.e., not based on facts. Most fear results in nothing more than avoidance just for the sake of avoidance. “If I avoid … Continue reading
My daily experience repeatedly debunks the myth that good relationships require constant work. Good relationships already work well, because each partner is getting what he or she wants. Anyone in a happy, mutually satisfying relationship will tell you that he … Continue reading