One of the many definitions of the outdated word “neurotic” is “an impaired mental state brought about by conflicting motivations.” In other words, a person is experiencing strong feelings about something, some of which are in conflict with one another. … Continue reading
Recent studies suggest that teenage rebellion and obnoxious behavior are considered a normal and universal part of growing up. But is this assumption valid? First of all, we have to distinguish between rebellion and individuation, specifically, the psychological/biological process of … Continue reading
In the all-too-rare quiet moments, it can be helpful to stand back and take a look at what’s important (and not so important) in your life. This sort of self-reflection should really be an every day ritual, especially after experiencing … Continue reading
We’re always fascinated by people who make it their business to jump out of airplanes, drive in car races or risk thousands in the stock market. Why is risk a way of life for some, and for others, it’s all … Continue reading
It never fails: Around holiday time I always receive a number of emails asking me to reprint this article from a couple of years ago. The response then was amazing, and lots of people wrote that they took a more … Continue reading
One way or another, many of us engage in gossip to some degree. Even if you never open your mouth, you’re contributing to gossip if you patronize the magazines, websites or TV shows that call themselves “entertainment news.” Nigel Nicholson, … Continue reading
Just when I start to wonder if all this writing is worth it, I get an email like this: “Dear Dr. Hurd, I strive to live up to the ideals you promote in your column. I like to quote your … Continue reading
A reader emails that she has successfully reduced her cigarette intake from 22 to only 6 a day. Now she’s stuck, and asks for advice on how to end the habit altogether. Your mistake, dear Reader, was that you set … Continue reading
Occasionally I meet people who have an obsessive need to keep themselves and their kids busy. Every spare moment must be filled! I wonder if, for the kids, it’s pressure to get into the top schools, or are the parents … Continue reading
A website visitor writes, “I have a friend who projects her shortcomings and personality faults onto others; holding them accountable for those actions or inactions. For example, she’s always late, yet she expresses anger when others are late. Why does … Continue reading
Many people are trained to believe that the reasonable thing to do is to compromise; to meet the other person halfway. That might sound nice, but in my experience it doesn’t always work. All action needs to be purposeful. And … Continue reading
One of the biggest problems in many personal or business relationships is the assumption that there’s a conflict of interest when in fact there isn’t. When personal relationships degenerate into unhappiness, you’ll almost always find the partners ready to adopt … Continue reading