A woman I know admits that she constantly feels jealous and threatened by her boyfriend’s popularity with other people, especially women. She goes on to say that she tries to control her feelings, but nothing works. Even though she has … Continue reading
Recently, I posted a Peanuts cartoon on Facebook that said: “Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening … it just stops you from enjoying the good.” The comments I received in reply to the post were even more interesting, … Continue reading
Blame and shame are not healthy motivators. People sometimes try to motivate you with shaming and blaming, and sadly, these methods are such a part of daily life that most of us take them for granted AND tolerate them far … Continue reading
It’s hard to make it through a day without hearing about “entitlement” – especially in a negative context. What does a sense of entitlement really mean? To be entitled to something means to feel or believe that you deserve it. … Continue reading
A Delaware Wave reader asked me the difference between an “irrational” (her words) avoidance of people versus true and healthy solitude. To figure out what’s irrational, you have to back up and define what kinds of interactions with other people … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd, I am a straight male who is attracted to a woman who is bisexual. She is also attracted to me. I want a committed, monogamous relationship, but am uneasy about making such a commitment with her because … Continue reading
Dear Dr. Hurd: My brother is 32. He has never held a job a job for longer than a couple of weeks and he, his wife and daughter live with our mother. They scrape by on disability, food stamps and … Continue reading
This may sound strange coming from a therapist, but I’ve come to resent the self-help babble you find in the bookstore or worse yet on daytime TV. My gripe is with the emphasis on “how to”. “How to” feel better. … Continue reading
Regulars here at Life’s a Beach! know that I describe myself as a cognitive therapist. Has an impressive scientific ring, don’t you think? But aside from sounding official, just what is it? People ask me, “Cognitive therapy is all well … Continue reading
Many people assume that mental health is a matter of either medicine or moral weakness. The medicine side assumes that pills can eradicate mental illness. The moral side assumes that troubling emotions stem from weakness of character. Neither side is … Continue reading
I received an email from a teenager who tells me that his parents treat him more harshly than they treat his older brother. They are not abusive, but they consistently hold him to a stricter standard. His brother gets Cs … Continue reading
All the recent publicity about criminal acts in schools and elsewhere is inevitably accompanied by some of the victims commenting publicly that they “hope someone will put the criminal on a better track.” Unfortunately, research over the years has exposed … Continue reading