One of the subjects that couples bring up in my office is how to make — or keep — a marriage happy for both parties. My first reaction is to remind them that they are ‘on the same team’; that … Continue reading →

If you’re reading this on the beach, I’m here to tell you that this is a great place to live. Shortly after I moved here, an associate from my former practice in Washington, D.C. likened resort dwellers to ‘outlaws.’ I … Continue reading →

A reader emails about her friend who is divorced from a man who was not a nice person. She enjoys being with her new boyfriend because he is kind to her. However, the reader’s friend confides in her that her … Continue reading →

A popular misconception about counseling and psychotherapy is that it’s all about the past. This probably stems from the clich image of the bearded Freudian psychoanalyst quietly dozing in his leather chair, and also the parade of insipid ‘self-help’ authors … Continue reading →

After my third book, ‘Bad Therapy, Good Therapy (And How to Tell the Difference)’ went on sale last year, I received a number of emails asking if bad therapy is better than no therapy at all. My answer is ‘No.’ … Continue reading →

Many of the comments I get from readers boil down to one basic question: “Why is what I can’t have, often more appealing than what I can have?” Wanting what you can’t have is the easy way out. In other … Continue reading →

While speaking with people who have lost someone of great value to them, I’ve learned so much about what they want (and don’t want) to hear in these situations. Most often, people who have experienced a tragic loss simply want … Continue reading →

Why are some people inclined to jump out of airplanes or risk thousands in the stock market, while others find it difficult just to meet new people? Why do some of us avoid risk at all costs, while for others … Continue reading →

Dear Dr. Hurd, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a compulsive talker. My crazy need to say something or answer someone (even when no answer is required) often gets me into trouble. When I talk I get carried away. … Continue reading →

Like an old friend who visits every so often, we’re again saying goodbye to the quiet season. Stress-free left turns and easy access to our favorite haunts is soon to be a thing of the past — at least for … Continue reading →

Parents of teenagers sometimes tell me that they don’t feel appreciated by their kids. “Look at all I’ve done for them,’ they say. ‘Why can’t they show gratitude?” As reasonable as this may seem, it contains a huge error. Gratitude … Continue reading →

It’s good for your mental health to appreciate material things such as your car, your clothes, your house — whatever. But, wait ‘ wasn’t I supposed to say something like, ‘Things aren’t really important. It’s your ‘inner life’ (whatever that … Continue reading →