“Everything happens for a reason” implies that Someone Else is governing all that happens in your life. However, choice is inescapable. It takes a choice to look at something as happening for a reason. Actually, it’s not that Someone Else … Continue reading →

Don’t worry about hurting a loved one’s feelings. Worry about creating a web of deceit. Because when you lie or mislead to “spare another’s feelings” it has the same consequences as lying and misleading for any other reason. And don’t … Continue reading →

In refusing to say NO to others, even though it’s the honest answer, you’re presumably doing it to protect them. Their interests require that you say YES, even though your own interests require that you say NO. Yet there’s a … Continue reading →

You have your challenges, and the people you care about have theirs. Everyone has them, because life is–among other things–a series of challenges to be conquered. You can be sensitive to the fact that a loved one has challenges as … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd, I have a question. A friend of mine really hurt and betrayed me, so I’m done with him. I won’t have any more contact with him. Another good friend of mine is friends with this former friend. … Continue reading →

Courage is not some rationalization for evasion and denial. A courageous person is someone fully rational, and fully aware of all the facts. Despite the facts, the courageous person resolves to take action anyway. This is the essence of courage. … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd, how can you say that values are objective and not relative? Isn’t this like saying that chocolate is the right flavor, and vanilla is the wrong one? Or that being a surgeon is the right career and … Continue reading →

Is power the reason you love the accomplishment? Or is accomplishment the reason you acknowledge the power?

People say the “middle” is where the reasonable resides. But this makes no sense. Sometimes this is true, and sometimes it isn’t. For example, a moderate amount of chocolate is healthier (and ultimately more enjoyable) than an excessive amount. Reasonable … Continue reading →

Q: Dr. Hurd, what do you think of the saying “No good deed goes unpunished”? A: I think very little of it and say it even less. The statement is basically a cynical comment that benevolence leads to ingratitude and … Continue reading →

There are people who seek power through acquiring lots of things via hard work. There are people who seek power through manipulation or coercion of others. Then there are people who don’t seek power at all. They seek accomplishment; fulfillment; … Continue reading →

Q: Can a person be lacking in character and strong in competence? A: In certain respects, yes; but ultimately, no. Ultimately, low character will drive out and undermine competence. Imagine you have a car mechanic, or some other service professional, … Continue reading →