A longtime fan of this column emails about her boyfriend. They had been dating for several years, and as their relationship progressed, they began to discuss the possibility of moving in together. It was during those discussions that she began … Continue reading
I’ve always liked the old proverb, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” I can’t help but follow it up with something like, “So you’d better be ready for whatever might be down that … Continue reading
It’s important to be careful about the way we phrase things when talking about ourselves or others. And “being nice” has nothing to do with it; the way we phrase things has an impact on how we view them, and … Continue reading
Many people are trained to believe that it’s always right to compromise, i.e., to meet the other person halfway. That might sound nice, but in my experience it doesn’t always work. All action needs to be purposeful. And two things … Continue reading
How many times have we heard the expression that somebody “takes things personally”? Is it always a mistake to feel that way? It can be a basic error to assume that everything is always about you, when in fact it’s … Continue reading
A friend told me recently that she wants to stop “mining for issues.” I liked her metaphor! She told me that she found herself actually looking for things to be anxious and worried about. Looking back at my clinical experience, … Continue reading
Remember “The Dog Whisperer” on National Geographic Channel? It featured the celebrated dog behavior specialist, Cesar Millan. His common-sense approach to controlling the conduct of dogs worked perfectly, time after time. Interestingly, in every episode it became obvious that the … Continue reading
It amazes me how people act like smart consumers in some situations, and like helpless pawns in others. Consider the way most of us handle the news — especially television news. I don’t care which news station you watch; they … Continue reading
A reader tells me that she has successfully reduced her cigarette intake from 22 to only 6 a day. Now she’s stuck, and asks for advice on how to end the habit altogether. Your mistake, dear Reader, was that you … Continue reading
A reader sent me a comment about one of my columns where I suggested that the biggest mistake people make is to try to change others. She agrees that the choice of what to think and do will always be … Continue reading
A website visitor writes that a longtime acquaintance of hers recently passed away. The upshot is that most people didn’t like the woman who died. She was obnoxious and spread bad rumors about everyone. The reader writes that those who … Continue reading
A reader emails: “Dear Dr. Hurd, my brother is 32. He doesn’t work. He, his wife and daughter live with our mother. They scrape by on disability, food stamps and our Mom’s generosity. I believe that his disrespect and mooching … Continue reading