Few things are more annoying than being nagged (except perhaps being accused of it). Nagging comes from anxiety, based on the false belief that repetition creates motivation. But it never does. In fact, it lowers respect for the one who … Continue reading →

‘I need a drink!’ ‘I’ve had a hard day. I need a nice big meal — or a cigarette!’ Sometimes, in the face of stress, and often without even realizing it, we use drugs, alcohol and even food to ‘self-medicate.’ … Continue reading →

Many people are cutting back on their spending because of the current “economy.” This makes sense — provided that these conditions are merely a reminder of what they should have been doing all along. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case for … Continue reading →

People sometimes say to me how concerned they are that they — or their children — not be ‘losers.’ They’re almost always surprised when I tell them that, in a certain context, losing can actually be GOOD for your mental … Continue reading →

It’s hard to believe, but (for those of you who are counting) this is my 200th column for The Delaware Wave! Though you’d be hard pressed to find a nicer bunch of folks than the Wave staff, I’m equally gratified … Continue reading →

Dear Dr. Hurd, A long-time acquaintance recently passed away after a dreadful bout with cancer. The point is that most of the people she knew didn’t like her. She had her good qualities, but, frankly, she used people, was obnoxious, … Continue reading →

I’ll bet that many of you can remember the childhood thrill of ‘going on vacation.’ The preparation, counting the days — and the getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning to leave. Through the fog of fitful backseat … Continue reading →

Over the years, I have talked to countless depressed people, and one thing I’ve learned is that regrets are a profound waste of time. The emotional cost of dwelling on ‘what could have been’ is just not worth it. I … Continue reading →

It’s easy to be stressed and anxious these days. For those of you who didn’t take my advice to turn off the TV news, it’s probably even more difficult to unwind. Though it seems like it would be easier to … Continue reading →

‘Many a truth is said in jest.’ But where does ‘joking’ end, and emotional abuse begin? One of the most common complaints I hear from one family member about another is that, ‘He pretends that he’s joking, but I know … Continue reading →

‘I love my kids!’ I hear it all the time. But sometimes love, by itself, isn’t enough. Children are a central theme with many of my clients, and I’ve learned much about what—and what not—to do. We have to pass … Continue reading →

I received an email from a reader who tells me that insignificant things often annoy her. She writes that she was upset in a restaurant recently because a child was making some noise. She admits that the kid was just … Continue reading →