…ularly important with email, texting and all that. People tell me of their regret over sending emotional emails to personal or business associates. “I wish I had worded it differently,” they lament. “Now it’s engraved in stone.” Email offers instant gratification in an age of real (or imagined) “attention deficits.” But instant gratification comes with a price. You could end up feeling foolish (at best), or (at worst) damaging a relationship. Stan… Continue reading →

…als view their activity as a career and don’t typically feel remorse; only regret if they’re apprehended or the crime is bungled. Non-criminals would never consider the initiation of brutal force, but to a criminal it’s all in a day’s work. Nobody can change against his or her own will. Consider the analogy of smoking. People who quit smoking usually know that they should stop, and even want to. But only at a certain point do they actually follow… Continue reading →

…(write) something in anger or haste that might feel good, but that you’ll regret later. For some, the immediate gratification of texting becomes an excuse for blurting out whatever comes into their mind, while avoiding the consequences of face-to-face communication. But speaking on impulse is a human error, not a technological one. I don’t think people become addicted to objects so much as to bad habits that suit a momentary purpose. Speaking on… Continue reading →

…email, texting and all the rest. People tell me over and over about their regret over sending emotional emails to personal or business associates. “I wish I had worded it differently,” they lament. “Now it’s engraved in stone.” Email offers instant gratification in an age of “attention deficits” — real OR imagined. But instant gratification comes with a price. You could end up feeling foolish (at best), or (at worst) damaging a relationship. To m… Continue reading →

…activity as a career and don’t typically feel remorse, other than perhaps regret if they’re caught or the crime is bungled. Non-criminals would never consider the initiation of brutal force, but to a criminal it’s all in a day’s work. Nobody can change against his or her own will. Consider the analogy of smoking. People who quit smoking usually know that they should stop, and even want to. But only at a certain point do they actually follow throu… Continue reading →

…times means accepting blame, is key to a healthy mind. But shame, guilt or regret is only rational when hard facts and evidence back them up. At the root, the shamer/blamer appeals to your insecurity, low self-esteem, or an unhealthy need to be liked. These are errors and weaknesses. Don’t let the worst people appeal to the worst within you. Stand up for yourself and demand that people provide proof for what they claim, and skip the psychological… Continue reading →

…he person with whom they want to spend their life. People in affairs often regret their actions and prefer to return to their spouse (if possible). Usually, an affair fills a void, and you might be attracted to someone who can fill that void, albeit temporarily. Of course, the possibility of permanent damage to the relationship is enormous. The chronically jealous partner fails to appreciate that difference. She thinks: “He’s looking at that Susan… Continue reading →

…rguments will happen, and the key is to not say hostile things that you’ll regret. Hurtful words cannot be taken back. Viewed in hindsight, there can be some advantages. A key example would be a mistaken assumption that your partner has about what you feel. Careful listening will allow you to say, “I listened to you, and I believe you’re operating on some mistaken assumptions about what I think, feel and do. May I tell you what those are?” You can… Continue reading →

…(write) something in anger or haste that might feel good, but that you’ll regret later. For some, the immediate gratification of texting becomes an excuse for blurting out whatever comes into their mind, while avoiding the consequences of face-to-face communication. But speaking on impulse is a human error, not a technological one. I don’t think people become addicted to objects so much as to bad habits that suit a momentary purpose. Speaking on… Continue reading →