You might have heard the phrase, ‘It’s not about the destination. It’s the road that gets you there.’ That’s wrong. It poses a false alternative. It implies that either you focus on the road, or you focus on the destination—and this … Continue reading
Most people troubled over something feel at least a little better after talking about it. The two exceptions are: people with obsessive depression or obsessive anxiety. Obsessive people get worse when they think or talk about something, while everyone else seems … Continue reading
People tend to respond to others as friends because of what they have found either lacking in themselves, or in life. Although you may be hard-pressed to name them, you have qualities that another lacks. To you those qualities are … Continue reading
People confuse frustration and anger. Frustration looks and feels like anger, but it’s something different. Anger is response to an injustice. Injustice means: This person could and should have done something different. Frustration means: I wish things could be different … Continue reading
A U.S. Senator in Utah — a Republican — recently lost his bid for renomination. He was beat in the Republican nomination process by an opponent who actually claimed to be more of a … well, a Republican. Imagine that. In his … Continue reading
People ask: If rational self-interest is right and healthy, is it always wrong to help someone? Of course not. If you’re to help someone, (1) they should be of value to you, (2) you should be able to afford the … Continue reading
When in doubt, or feeling troubled, go to the facts. When you are feeling something, write down the feeling. Then make yourself identify the facts that support the feeling (if any exist) and the facts that refute or contradict the … Continue reading
It’s helpful to distinguish between failing and merely making an error. The very word “fail” is toxic for many people. An honest error can take place through honest reasoning, but errors are almost always correctable. However, if your habitual internal … Continue reading
Does it ever make sense to pressure loved ones, or others, to do what you want? Pressuring is an ineffective thing, in most cases. In a few cases, maybe someone agrees with you about what their priorities should be, and … Continue reading
The core of being self-responsible is managing your emotions. Managing your emotions means recognizing and accepting the premise that not all of your feelings are necessarily logical and based on facts. This recognition leads to a self-responsible habit of not … Continue reading
There are two ways to describe the same phenomenon or experience. One: “I tend to start one task before completing another. This annoys those around me as well as myself. Sometimes, there’s a rationale for what I’m doing. I could … Continue reading
Wrong premise: Disappointments are disasters. Wrong premise: The risk of disappointment can never be outweighed by the possibility of happy outcome. Wrong premise: Life is a performance (for others) rather than a focused experience (for myself). These wrong premises contribute … Continue reading