Here’s what has happened in our world today. It’s deeper than politics; and nobody escapes it, because the faulty thinking is so unchallenged and prevalent, it’s almost in our DNA. Instead of holding people (especially loved ones) accountable for their actions, we question ourselves. “I shouldn’t be mean. I shouldn’t be a redneck. I shouldn’t be unsophisticated.” So what do we do? “My loved one isn’t being wrong. Who am I to judge right or wrong? It’s a mental problem.” Drug abuse, bad spending decisions, laziness, impulsivity, shyness, illogical behavior, poor judgment, honest ignorance, overly negative thinking — instead of errors, we call all these things “diseases,” and treat them as if they’re diseases. But they’re not diseases.
Then we take the loved one to the mental health professional, for “help” — but it’s usually a charade. “Help” doesn’t mean helping the person to become a better person; it means making the person change without his knowledge or consent. “If the therapist/psychiatrist can change my loved one’s actions and even attitudes, then I won’t have to face the consequences of calling him or her on what he or she is doing wrong.” No therapist is going to change anyone. We can only change ourselves. A therapist can possibly help you change yourself — but nobody is going to get into your body and mind, become YOU, and make your choices for you! Nobody.
It’s all a way to escape the responsibility of judgment. Of getting to feel like you’re a nice, sensitive and upstanding progressive Citizen of Society. But the fact remains: Wrong is wrong. Your loved one is doing something stupid or wrong, and possibly asking you to take the brunt of the consequences for it. Instead of saying, “No, I am no longer willing to assist you in doing stupid things,” you reach out to the psychiatric industry to do it for you. But it’s magical thinking. You might as well be skipping your way along the Yellow Brick Road to meet the Wizard of Oz, whom you fantasize will change your loved one with no consequences to yourself. Dream on, citizens. Human nature and reality don’t work that way.